🎙️Dating is a Nightmare (AUDIO ONLY)🎙️

Modern dating is basically a full-time job... except nobody's hiring, everyone ghosts, and somehow you're expected to know what "LOL" means after a three-hour response time.

This week on Twin Tangents, Anthony and Nalee dive headfirst into the chaotic battlefield that is modern dating. From dating apps and situationships to first-date red flags, "icks," ghosting, love bombing, unsolicited dick pics, and the impossible task of figuring out whether someone is genuinely interested or just bored on a Tuesday night, nothing is off-limits.

👉 Audio listeners: if you want to see the facial expressions, dramatic eye rolls, and the moments where Nalee accidentally exposes her entire dating strategy, head over to YouTube.

We're talking:

🚩 Icks vs. actual dealbreakers → are we ending relationships over things that could be solved with a toothbrush... or are some "icks" actually revealing bigger problems?

📱 Dating apps: where hope goes to die → Hinge, situationships, disappearing conversations, and why modern dating sometimes feels like customer service with worse reviews.

👻 Ghosting, love bombing & mixed signals → decoding today's dating language without losing your sanity.

🪥 First impressions matter → hygiene, effort, confidence, and why showing up looking like you actually wanted to be there isn't asking too much.

🍸 Dating etiquette → being rude to servers, drinking before your date arrives, tipping, showing respect, and the little things that reveal a lot about someone's character.

📸 Oversharing too soon → unsolicited photos, talking about sex on day one, and why intentional dating feels almost revolutionary.

💬 Knowing your worth → raising your standards, protecting your peace, and learning the difference between giving someone grace and settling.

❤️ Dating as self-discovery → every bad date teaches you something, every good conversation teaches you something else, and sometimes the relationship you're building first is the one with yourself.

😂 Classic Twin Tangents chaos → questionable dating advice, wildly different standards, accidental therapy sessions, and enough unhinged stories to make you grateful for your current relationship... or your solitude.

Somewhere between the red flags, the green flags, and the fifty shades of beige flags, we discovered that dating isn't really about finding the perfect person.

It's about learning who you are, what you deserve, and refusing to ignore the things that matter just because someone is attractive.

Quick disclaimer: This episode contains dating horror stories, situationships, unsolicited opinions, relationship debates, mature conversations, and enough sarcasm to scare away anyone who wasn't serious in the first place.

We're not dating coaches.

We're just trying to survive the group chat.

🎙️ Motto of the week:
Know your worth.
Trust your gut.
And if someone says they're "just seeing where things go"...

Maybe let them go there by themselves.

⚠️ Twin Tangents: Because Therapy Was Booked ⚠️
 Unfiltered. Unapologetic. Unhinged (just a bit).

Hosted by Nalee & Anthony—this is your safe, spicy space to spiral. Expect adult content, hot takes, and high-functioning chaos.

And yes, we call our listeners H.O.E.S.
 (Hilarious. Over it. Emotionally unstable. Spicy.)
 It’s not an insult. It’s a hoe-mmunity.

If you can turn a three-word text into a 45-minute psychological breakdown… welcome home.

Nalee’s Hypothetical Hotline exists for the people who rehearse arguments in the shower and lose sleep over imaginary conversations. Submit your spirals. We’ll spiral louder. And with microphones.

Because if we’re overthinking, we’re doing it professionally.

Love drama but hate being involved in it? Perfect.

Twin Tangents Court is our fast-paced spin-off where we judge everyone so you don’t have to. Dating disasters. Friendship felonies. Domestic disturbances. We try the case. We deliver the verdict.

New episodes drop every other Friday at 8 AM Central. Bring your coffee. Bring your screenshots. Court is now in session.

Pride Month isn’t just glitter and hashtags—it’s visibility, safety, and unapologetic joy. In our “Rainbow, But Make It Real” segment, we’re cutting through the rainbow capitalism to spotlight real stories, real love, and real respect. Whether you're out, questioning, or just vibing in your truth—we see you, we celebrate you, and we’re here for the real Pride. 🏳️‍🌈💖✨

Just when you thought the chaos was over—Anthony and Nalee invite you to keep the tangents going. With a soft outro vibe and one last wink to the listener, this post-roll points you toward the Twin Tangents website and socials for more unfiltered content. Because if you’re still here, you clearly get it… and we love that for you.

🎙️ Stay connected with Twin Tangents Because Therapy Was Booked
Unfiltered. Unexpected. Unbothered.

🌐 Website: www.twintangentspodcast.com
All our socials, episodes, and contact info live here.

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Transcript

Welcome To The Dating Autopsy

NALEE 0:48

I kind of know if this is a good angle or not, but it is what it is, is what it is. You look at it. All right, well, welcome back to Twin Tangents, where love is dead.

ANTHONY 0:58

And we're probably gonna autopsy it, which sounds a little gross if you think about it.

NALEE 1:02

Just a little preliminary findings show the victim was last seen in a situation ship.

ANTHONY 1:08

I just love that word.

NALEE 1:09

I do. I do too.

ANTHONY 1:12

Because of death. Just seeing where things go.

NALEE 1:15

Tragic.

ANTHONY 1:16

Authorities are also investigating several missing text messages. If you've ever been ghosted, led on, love bombed, or stared at your phone and wondering what LOL really means.

NALEE 1:27

Congrat you fucking Lations.

ANTHONY 1:29

You're fucking qualified for today's episode.

NALEE 1:32

Because today we're talking about modern dating. Yes, modern dating.

ANTHONY 1:37

Or as it's more commonly known, dating is a nightmare. Period. Let's start with our first segment: the battlefield.

NALEE 1:45

Dating apps, where hope goes to die.

ANTHONY 1:51

All right. I don't know why that's a lot.

NALEE 1:53

What were your topics? What did you want to talk about?

ANTHONY 1:55

Well, I feel a little out of sorts with this because I I feel like you have more experience with all of this in general. So one thing that I wanted to talk about was like icks versus actual issues.

NALEE 2:07

Okay.

ANTHONY 2:09

So that that line can be blur blurred for people and like just justifying like what really actually isn't it. Okay. Um, because I feel like sometimes people are like, oh, they did they they did this and ah, it was a real ick for me. And I just can't

Icks Vs Real Relationship Problems

ANTHONY 2:26

see past it. And it's like some of the things like I'll see on TikTok people are talking about it, and I'm like, some of the things that they mentioned, I'm like, well, that's not really that big of a deal. Like, you seriously can't get past that. Yeah. Like I I could understand if you're like sitting on the couch watching a movie and you look over and they're picking their nose, eating a booger. Like flavor. Yeah, like I guess I can understand that's a real ick, but like I don't know. Like, oh, they came in from mowing the lawn. I don't I don't really have a lot of icks, I feel. But like, oh, they came in from mowing the lawn and they like took their shirt and wiped their sweat and I could just still see the sweat dripping down their abdomen.

NALEE 3:06

The fuck? That's hot. I mean, for me, it's hot.

ANTHONY 3:09

That exam. Well, I mean, in my mind, I was actually picturing like a Danny DeVito type person. Does that see? It makes the difference for people.

NALEE 3:17

If I was his wife and we were the same age, I'd probably be like, yes, daddy. You know.

ANTHONY 3:26

But yeah. You see what I'm going for here? Like it's just like certain things just like I'm trying to understand how do people justify it being an ick?

NALEE 3:34

Okay, I'll give you some of my examples of icks with guys that have gone date on dates with.

ANTHONY 3:38

Okay. Yeah. Let's start there. You have icks. What are your icks?

NALEE 3:41

Yes, I do have icks. So one thing is when you come and you don't brush your teeth. Like I could smell your breath. That is an ick for me because one, it's like, did you not prepare yourself to come to this date? Like, did you just come looking how you was gonna look? Cause I just dress up looking the looking cute and all, just to show up to a date who looks like he just rolled out of bed and then didn't even have the calm courtesy to brush his teeth and like at least look decent.

Hygiene Standards And First Impressions

NALEE 4:12

You know what I mean? Another ick is if you stank.

ANTHONY 4:14

Okay, okay, wait, wait, wait, look. Oh, okay. Wait, do you okay, wait, time out. Do you want to go through all your icks or should we go through an ick at a time and then address it?

NALEE 4:21

I'll go through all my icks and then we could break it down later. Okay. Because if I don't talk, if I don't think about it now, then I'm gonna like forget about it. I'll write out I'll write it out my icks here.

ANTHONY 4:31

Okay.

NALEE 4:31

Okay. So first one is stanky breath. Second one is yes tank. Like, let's say if you just came from back from the gym and you didn't take a shower, you just changed your clothes, you came you came to the date, and then everything looks fine, but then like you can smell like the gym smell or like sweat smell. To me, that's kind of like, yeah. Another ick is if I came and you already finished like a full ass.

ANTHONY 5:01

Timeout, timeout. You need to like think about your wording.

unknown 5:04

Okay, why what?

ANTHONY 5:05

Because the first one you were like, you come and you have stanky breath. And then this one you're like, I came and you finish. No think about your words, bitch.

NALEE 5:19

Damn. I didn't think of it like that. I did not think of it like that. That was a good one.

ANTHONY 5:23

And the entire episode is about dating.

NALEE 5:24

No, no, no. Okay, sorry. I will, I will rewatch what I I will rewatch what I said. So you and I are supposed to meet up at a restaurant, and then as I'm walking through the doors, and I see you sitting at the bar and you finish like a whole ass bottle of liquor already. Was that on my end? That was a loud ass bang. But anyways, you finish like a full ass bottle of liqueur, and then you're on your second one, and I haven't even sat down yet. That's a lot.

SPEAKER_00 5:54

Timeout. You mean do you actually mean liquor? Because if anybody's finishing a bottle of liquor at a bar, that's a bug bait to begin with.

ANTHONY 6:02

Sorry, I have to interrupt you on this one.

NALEE 6:04

No, no, it's okay. Plus you stop typing, so no, I mean liquor as far as like soju. Like, you know, there's soju, like they're it's considered liquor, but the bottles are like kind of like a beer bottle. But then they're really strong, like they're creepers. That for me is like, oh, not that you have a drinking problem, because clearly I drink too, but you know, like if you're entertaining yourself, that's chill. But like to finish a whole bottle and starting on your second one, and then I just arrived. To me, I'm like, what are you so nervous about? You know, like I'm not that scary. And most of the time I'm the fucking one who's nervous.

ANTHONY 6:38

So they're just that beautiful. They have to drink to calm their nerves.

NALEE 6:42

Thank you. And then another one is like if they're rude to the people who are who's serving us. Like to me, that's just again common courtesy. And the other thing, my other ick is let me just write this down really quick before I forget. And then drinking. Drinking, yes. And and then the other one is again, I I'm hypocritical, but like and maybe actually I've changed my point of view on this because tipping. Like I've I've been tipping pretty good. But if you're if they're paying for like the dinner and their their tipping sucks or they don't tip, to me that's an ick. Like, oh, I guess like you don't really appreciate like the service or whatever, you know? And then the last one is when we like when we just started talking, like let's say on dating apps and stuff like that, and you all of a sudden start sending me dick pics. Like, I haven't even seen your face. You gonna show me your dick already? Like, what kind of guys are you talking to? I don't know. I feel like some guys are like that where they're like, oh, like if they know they have a big dick, they want to show it to you first so that you're like, oh yeah, he got a big dick. Like, you know, but then again, there's like the hookup culture too. So I guess I don't know. Maybe that's normal, maybe that's not. But like a lot of the guys that I first talked to, like that was kind of like the first thing that they did. Like, obviously, I would talk on because what I do is shit, I'm gonna give you guys up, give up my secret. But like my my cause I'm on I'm only on hinge. Well, I'm not on hinge anymore, but I'm on hinge. And so then, like, I I don't put my real name, but I put like alias name on it. And then when we actually get serious and we talk and stuff and they ask for my phone number, I don't give them my phone number because I don't feel comfortable with that, and there's like a whole situation that's fair, yeah. And so then I would be like, hey, why don't you add me on Snapchat so we could talk on that? I don't give them my Instagram because the thing is Instagram, like, you know, I sh we share a lot of like social media stuff, our podcast, and I ain't about to get that serious with you if I don't really know you that well. So I I have an alias Snapchat account, which isn't my personal one, but it's also a side, like a side chat, I guess you could say, of Snapchat, that is my alias account. And so then when I add them on my Snapchat account that is my other persona, then that's when I tell them that, hey, like, you know, if we get really deep into it or if we actually have like good rapport or good like banter, then I would be like, just want to let you know, like my name isn't actually blank, it's this. And so then from there, dudes are pretty like chill, like, oh okay, yeah, I totally get it. It's your safety or whatever. What? What?

ANTHONY 9:27

We'll go through all these icks.

NALEE 9:29

Yeah, it's fine. And so then, like, immediately, like, sometimes when I ask, because on hinge, you cannot send photos. That's why, like, so you can't, like, you cannot. It's only either voice messages or you just text, you like you chat back and forth. But then, yeah. Excuse me. One thing too is that like on hinge, I'm actually not on hinge a lot. So I check it like I don't know, every two, three days, just like how I text my I check my text messages. Like, I don't really fucking like concentrate on that. And so then and so then like when people write to me on hinge, they're like, oh, like I haven't heard from you from two, three days. I'm like, if you actually really want to talk, like you could add me on Snap if you have that, and we could talk on there. And so then that's kind of how I communicate with people. But then like as soon as I like add them on Snap, like we start talking and stuff, and then like within like a couple of days or whatever, like they start sending like dick pics, or they immediately ask you for like nudes and stuff. And I'm just like, we're in 2026, like people still do that, you know.

ANTHONY 10:26

Like, what do you mean people still do that?

NALEE 10:28

I don't know. It's just like I I get and honestly, low-key, this is this is like new to me. I did not know that Snap was meant for like that. Like you snap photos of yourself to like I don't think it was meant for that.

ANTHONY 10:42

I think that that's what society has turned it into. Oh, yeah. They can get away with sending it.

NALEE 10:47

Yeah, I didn't know it was that. I didn't know it was used like that. And so then one of one of the guys that I went on a date with, he was just like, So why why did you choose Snap? I'm like, I don't know, it's like the easiest one that you could like have, and like you could talk and you could call each other, you could message, and it's pretty much like a phone, like a phone app that you could use. I don't use WhatsApp because WhatsApp still uses your actual phone number, but Snap is more like anonymous, but you could still kind of like be not anonymous. You know what I mean?

unknown 11:16

Yeah.

NALEE 11:17

So dick pics like right away, that's an ick for me. Um and then talking about sex right away is kind of an ick for me because like yeah, y'all know, y'all know your girl. She's a she's you know, she calm, demure, and classy and cute, but she a freak in the sheets. But at the same time, I ain't about to talk to you about sex like right away. You know what I mean? Like, I wanna know who you are. I wanna know like how long you've been dating, how long you've been in the dating scene and stuff like that. I'm actually trying to get to know you. Cause like I said, I'm trying to date like more intentionally, not just like fuck around and shit. You know what I mean? So that's an ick for me. What else? Oh, if you don't got a car, if you don't got a job, those are definitely icks for me. And if you still y'all could come for me, but okay, I'm not gonna say this one. Never mind. Because Say it.

ANTHONY 12:06

Say it with your chest. Say it with your chest.

NALEE 12:09

That's it, that's it. That's it for me. Yeah.

ANTHONY 12:11

Okay, so we're gonna revisit all of your icks right now.

NALEE 12:14

Okay.

ANTHONY 12:15

Because I have questions.

NALEE 12:16

Okay, go ahead.

ANTHONY 12:18

So, first and foremost, the stanky breath.

NALEE 12:21

Yeah. I wrote out stank like S-T-A-N-K. Not stinky, stanky.

ANTHONY 12:26

Stanky breath.

NALEE 12:27

Stanky breath.

ANTHONY 12:29

So I can see how this would be an ick. So my question to you is is this actually an ick or is this an actual problem?

NALEE 12:35

No, this is an ick for me because I I value oral hygiene. Because it's only giving it.

ANTHONY 12:46

Or is it because this is kind of what I was going for, because there are people that are like, okay, stanky breath, yes, it's an ick for me. I'm done. I'm out. You icked me out, I'm done. I can't see past that. But it's not an actual problem because stanky breath is something that you can have a conversation about, something that you can discuss and that they can work on.

NALEE 13:08

That's true.

ANTHONY 13:09

So that's I mean, that's kind of what I was going for as far as like icks versus actual issues. Like people are using their icks as a way to end things when yes, I can't.

NALEE 13:21

Sorry, I don't know what the fuck is going on here. There's always fucking construction here for whatever the fuck reason. There's literally nothing being built new, you know?

ANTHONY 13:29

It'll probably be edited out.

NALEE 13:31

But sorry. Oh, maybe it will. I don't know. Yeah. Maybe it's just like my subconscious. But I don't know. Like for me, I can hear it though. For stanky breaths, because I mean, I'm not gonna lie, my morning breath ain't the the cutest, cutest either.

ANTHONY 13:42

Like, I don't think anybody's is. I don't think anybody's is.

NALEE 13:45

I'm just seeing that like if I could clearly tell that like you don't have good teeth hygiene, I don't know. I may not say it to you right away, but I might be like, like, if we actually become a thing, then I would be like, oh yeah, we need to like get that up to par. You know what I mean?

ANTHONY 14:01

Yeah. So I will I'm gonna sound like a real big asshole right now, and people are probably gonna judge for me, and that's fine if they do. But like, speaking of like oral hygiene, teeth are a really big thing for me.

NALEE 14:15

It is, yeah.

ANTHONY 14:16

And so, like, I can understand, okay, you got stanky breath in the morning, or maybe it's been a long day and you didn't brush after lunch or whatever, and maybe there's a little I can tell that you had onions for lunch. That's conversation. Yes, it's an it for me, but it I'm not turned off, I'm not ending things. Now, if I I'm just gonna say it. If you have bad oral hygiene, I'm gonna it's it's a no for me. Like if it's if it's a consistent thing, if you have if I can tell that it's seven o'clock at night and you had red hot Cheetos for lunch and your teeth are stained red, I'm out. That it like Yeah.

NALEE 14:57

Yeah, that's that's that's a nick for me too. Like if again, if I meet you for the first time, first, because my thing is when it comes to days, first impressions are really important to me.

ANTHONY 15:06

100%.

NALEE 15:07

Like, like if I come and you looking like trash and I'm looking like Again, with the coming, you know? I mean, I could be coming too, for all you know. I don't fucking know. But if we met up for the first time and you ain't looking to you ain't looking the brightest, and I'm the one who turns head, that's gonna make me question a little bit. I mean, every time I go anywhere, I usually turn heads, just saying.

ANTHONY 15:28

But still, you know, I will say the first time I I I would give leeway. Cause it's like, okay, well, this is this is something that we're gonna have to have a conversation on. And if it's like a consistent thing, yes, it's my ick, but it's something that we can work on. Oh, it's not, it's not you, but like if I can tell that, okay, your teeth are starting to like are you like I'm gonna question, are you use using meth? Like irreversible damage.

NALEE 15:56

Real quick. Holy shit. Get in dark again, go to a dark place.

ANTHONY 16:00

Again, again, I'm gonna sound like an asshole. It sounds bad, but I mean, I don't know. Have you ever seen those people that they're it looks like their teeth are like rotting away?

NALEE 16:07

Yeah, yeah.

ANTHONY 16:08

It's like you clearly don't have oral hygiene. Yeah, like good. I don't know.

NALEE 16:12

To me, that actually is a thing. That's a thing for me. Like, first impressions, that's my thing though. Like if we first meet and you look you look questionable, because I feel like I have pretty good hygiene and I want some well, actually have pretty good hygiene. But I if somebody meets up with me and their hygiene is like not up to par, I'm not gonna entertain that. I'm not I'm not your mom. I'm not gonna teach you how to have better hygiene. You better already have better hygiene.

ANTHONY 16:36

And to me, that's like uh But if it's somebody that you like, uh-uh.

NALEE 16:41

Hygiene is like whether he's cute or not, but if he comes looking like not good, again, you know, like I'm gonna sound like a bitch. But if you come looking like trash, I don't know. That's already a turnoff for me because for me, I think the main one of the main things when it comes to like being in a like if I'm in an actual couple with somebody, hygiene is number one, baby. Like fair. Yeah example, if you're gonna have me suck your dick, you better fucking shower or wash it. Like, I ain't gonna like just suck it.

ANTHONY 17:11

I wouldn't even say or wash it. Like, you gotta shower. You need a full-on shower.

NALEE 17:17

Don't go in there and take a four bath. Exactly. So, like, if you are, if you have bad hygiene, that's a no for me. Like, I don't care if I ain't gonna talk about it. Again, I'm not your mom, I'm not gonna teach you how to brush your teeth, I'm not gonna teach you how to shower. You better already fucking know. Because she knows what she does, she knows what she is. I ain't about to teach nobody, I ain't about to be nobody's mom no more.

ANTHONY 17:36

You know, like what if it was somebody that you really liked? Okay, so let's let's just say you're dating somebody in the beginning, everything is fine. Okay. You've been dating for six months, and now all of a sudden you notice that they start like, I don't know, maybe they're skipping their toothbrushing and teeth brushing in the morning. Probably together. Like it's a that well, and see that's what I'm saying. Like, it's an ick, but it's something that you're gonna work towards.

NALEE 17:59

And then No, no, because that's usually some of the first things I ask before I even meet up with them. I don't know about anybody else, but those are important to me. What's like before what do you ask? Like before I even schedule a date with somebody, I usually talk to them for like maybe a week, a couple of days. And that's within my question that I will ask them, like, hey, like how's your hygiene? Do you, you know, floss? Do you brush your teeth like two times a day at least minimum? Like, how do you take care of yourself? Those are questions I ask even before considering meeting up with people. And then if I meet up with them and they look like trash, that's a no for me. Again, I'm not saying I'm fucking Dr. Clean or Mr. Clean up in here. Like, I get it. Some days when I'm sweaty, like she's salty. I get it. But the thing again is that like I'm I'm not I'm not gonna teach you those things. You should already have those things. I need to be with somebody who is like me or better. I don't need to like so you couldn't get past it.

ANTHONY 18:57

You can't. I don't think I can.

NALEE 18:58

No, I don't think I can. Yeah, like stinky breath, again, I get it. But oral, I guess I should have worded better. Oral hygiene is like a big thing for me. Again, hygiene in general is a really big thing for me.

ANTHONY 19:11

That was the next one I was gonna move on to, which we kind of encapsulated into oral hygiene.

NALEE 19:16

Yeah.

ANTHONY 19:16

Yeah.

NALEE 19:17

Um for me, I appreciate a man who smells good. Because for me, like, it's not one of my fetishes, but to me, like I find comfort and smell. So if you smell good and you and you're consistent and smell in your scent, then I'd be like, okay. But if you come smelling like, I don't know, sweat, I don't to me, I'm gonna be like it's kind of stanky over here.

ANTHONY 19:41

It's a turn off.

NALEE 19:43

Yeah. Did you want to go more into that? I don't know. But that that's pretty much all I had to say about that.

ANTHONY 19:49

No, let's go on to the next one. So, like being rude to people.

NALEE 19:53

Yeah, like it just because the thing is if you're rude to a stranger, you could be around.

ANTHONY 19:59

And we're specifically talking about like servers and bartenders. Like, you go out to meet in their rude.

NALEE 20:04

Yeah. Yeah. And to meet, it's just kind of like common courtesy. Like, if you can't be nice to a stranger, how how do I know you're gonna be nice to me? You know what I mean? Kind of a thing. Or I don't know what the saying is, but something like that.

ANTHONY 20:17

No, I know exactly what you're saying. And I do agree with you. Like this one, like I can see how this

Rudeness, Drinking, And Basic Respect

ANTHONY 20:22

would be an actual issue.

NALEE 20:24

Yeah.

ANTHONY 20:26

Because they're showing who they are, that's their personality. They're not trying to impress you. They clearly don't care.

NALEE 20:32

Yeah.

ANTHONY 20:32

Like that's obviously them versus I just rushed here after work because I had a date with you and I didn't brush my teeth. And sorry. Yeah. If you can smell my onions. So that's that's kind of what I was like going for and like getting at. As far as the drinking one, I do want to say you are very beautiful. So maybe they are just nervous to be on a date with you. Well, thank you.

NALEE 20:54

And I think I don't know. Or they have a drinking problem. And who am I to judge? Cause low-key, I'm like, I'm getting there, but I don't know. But wouldn't you want to like, I'm not saying and like be fake, but wouldn't you kind of want to impress me and be like, oh, well, I bought I did buy a drink, but I wanted to wait for you and we could drink it together, kind of a thing. You know what I mean? Like, that's like, to me, that's sweet, where you're considering, like, oh, I'm I bought it because I know you liked it, but I'm gonna wait for you.

ANTHONY 21:23

Kind of So two so two things with that from my personal opinion.

NALEE 22:08

Okay.

ANTHONY 22:09

So with you, nobody should order a drink and wait because it's gonna be sitting there, it's gonna be hot as hot tea by the time your ass shows up.

NALEE 22:17

It's true. Okay, I didn't put that into consideration because I think I was late to that date.

ANTHONY 22:22

But still, look at that, listeners. Look at do I know this hoe or what?

NALEE 22:27

But still, like I'm just saying, he drank the whole thing. He could have just waited. I was five minutes late. Five minutes. That's all I'm saying.

ANTHONY 22:36

I all I don't know what that drink was that you had mentioned. That's it.

NALEE 22:41

It's soju and it's really strong and it's liquor. It's Korean liquor.

ANTHONY 22:44

Okay, so yeah, I don't know. I've never had it, so I can't really comment on that. I would probably just say, I think it's okay to have a drink while you're waiting. Or it's like an equivalent to five bears. Or even a shot just to like calm down. Maybe he was nervous.

NALEE 22:59

I I would take shots too. I mean, obviously if I was waiting at a bar, but I'm just saying that like so that's what I'm saying.

ANTHONY 23:06

So, like, is that an ick or is that an actual issue for you? You're saying it's an ick, you're saying it's an ick, but you're also saying Saying that it's gonna be an actual issue because nope, not interested.

NALEE 23:16

It's kind of both. It's both.

ANTHONY 23:17

But you literally just said that you would take shots if you were waiting. So it's okay for you to take shots.

NALEE 23:22

I would take one shot. I would take one shot.

ANTHONY 23:25

So if this guy had only had a shot and you had seen him have a shot, it would have been fine.

NALEE 23:29

Yeah, I'd be fine with it. I'd be like, hey, why didn't you wait for me? Hello, now you're I'm gonna you're gonna have to wait for me to catch up.

ANTHONY 23:35

Okay, so when you said drinking, you were saying it more broadly.

NALEE 23:38

Like yeah, like excessive drinking. Like if you don't finish a whole case of beer and like, you know, so that's I feel like that's anybody.

ANTHONY 23:45

That's but again, that's an actual issue, not an ick. Like if you're on a date and they're like drinking drink after drink after drink, and then by the time it's time for you guys to go home and go your separate ways, they're sloshed. Like yeah, that's an issue. That's an actual issue. Peace out. Date's over. Don't call me, lose my number. Okay.

NALEE 24:07

I do have one more to add, but we'll talk about that when we get to the last one. We'll add it later. Okay. Anything else you want to add to that one?

ANTHONY 24:15

Not to that one.

NALEE 24:16

Okay.

ANTHONY 24:16

Okay. I'm just gonna I'm gonna skip tipping. And I just want to.

NALEE 24:20

Tipping's kind of like the customer service thing.

ANTHONY 24:23

Yeah. I want to talk about the nudes. No job, no car. I'm gonna wrap all these into one.

NALEE 24:29

Okay.

ANTHONY 24:30

Okay, so first of all, I can get behind the like no job thing. Like if that's it, and that's like a deal breaker.

NALEE 24:37

I ain't gonna be your mama. But no car? Thank you. Yeah.

ANTHONY 24:41

That's not fair. What if what if they live like downtown? Like, I mean, I don't live in Minneapolis, but if they live downtown Minneapolis, I ain't gonna fucking pay for a car. You gotta pay for a garage, you gotta pay to store it. How often are you gonna use it?

NALEE 24:55

I don't know. If you lived in New York or Chicago, understand. Like you could just Uber around. But it's Minneapolis. It ain't that big.

ANTHONY 25:01

You can Uber in Minneapolis too.

NALEE 25:03

I know, but to me, like, who's gonna pick me up on my dates? Who's gonna impress me? Whose car are we gonna drive? When we go on road trips, we gonna Uber the whole road trip? Bitch, bye. With whose money?

ANTHONY 25:14

No, when you go on a road trip, then you rent a car.

NALEE 25:16

But still, I don't know. To me, cars a big deal. Because the thing is, if what if they don't know how to drive? You know, like they're 30 some years on where they don't know how to drive. To me, that's an issue, you know. Is that an issue? Yeah, that's an issue for me. If you're 33, if you're my age, I'm just saying, if you were born at the same time, was born the same year, and you don't know how to fucking drive, get out of my sight.

ANTHONY 25:37

You have high standards, which isn't a bad thing. Which is the bad thing.

NALEE 25:42

I do have high standards. I didn't have high standards before, but I have high standards now. Again, I know what I bring to the table. That's just it. I know what I bring to the table. If you got no car, you got no job, and you send me nudes, boa-bye.

ANTHONY 25:54

Okay. Now to the nudes part. Okay, I can see that is like an actual issue.

NALEE 26:00

I'm not gonna lie. It is kind of fun. It is kind of fun to see like people's how people's dick look. Like, I'm not, I'm not gonna lie. It's pretty fun. Normally I will tell them, wow, you're really brave. It's been like the third day, and you're super brave. But I'm gonna go.

ANTHONY 26:15

But they waited until the third day. That is a big deal because normally they'd be sending them.

NALEE 26:20

Hi.

ANTHONY 26:21

Surprise! You gotta one-eye.

NALEE 26:23

But the thing, the thing too is low-key, again, maybe I'm the toxic one, but I entertain that shit too, though. Like, you do, you're a potzer. You're an easy one. Yeah, I usually go, I usually go, I've never seen an uncut penis before. Not even. No, you know what I say to them. I say that that could have been Googled. I need a face with a dick. And that's when the guys either like clock the fuck out or they send me a new photo with their face and the dick in the photo. So, girls, learn from me.

ANTHONY 26:55

I am gonna judge you for a second here.

NALEE 26:57

What? They weren't brave enough to send me a dick pic.

ANTHONY 27:01

No, not about that. Not about that. This is just so you had said that you signed up for Hinge with an alias.

NALEE 27:10

Yeah.

ANTHONY 27:11

If you're looking for a relationship, is that really the way to start off a relationship by lying to them?

NALEE 27:17

I don't lie to them.

ANTHONY 27:19

The thing is you tell them you

Nudes, Snapchat, And The Alias Debate

ANTHONY 27:20

have a different name. Yeah. You made up a different name. I do. You made up a different name login for Snapchat.

NALEE 27:28

But that's for my own safety. That's for my own safety. I don't care if anybody judges me on that. All I'm saying is if you actually are interested, my name shouldn't be that big of an issue. Because if I am into you, I will be like, hey, by the by, before we get really serious, this is my actual name.

ANTHONY 27:43

You don't see how that's a red flag.

NALEE 27:45

Hey, I didn't say I wasn't a red flag. It is what it is, is what it is. I ain't about to give you my real name. I've been stopped before. I ain't about to do that again. That's the reason why.

ANTHONY 27:55

Bitch, set your shit to private.

NALEE 27:56

I ain't got time.

ANTHONY 27:58

You ain't got you ain't got time to set your shit to private, but you got time to make up a fake name, make up a fake Snapchat, make up a fake hinge account, make up a fake email.

NALEE 28:08

It's just a name. Everything is.

ANTHONY 28:11

But it's the premise of it where you're if you're trying to start a relationship and you're starting it with a lie.

NALEE 28:17

But there's no relationship. It's just getting to know each other. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_00 28:22

The thing is Okay, but if you hear me out.

ANTHONY 28:25

If you have a hinge account and your profile says, I'm gonna make up a name because I don't know what name you use, don't want to know. So you have your hinge account and you make up a name. Hi, my name is Stephanie. I'm 33. I like to do this, I'm like to eat this, I like to go here. I'm looking for a relationship. And these guys are replying and responding to your profile that clearly says you're looking for a relationship and you're lying by saying your name is Stephanie. You don't see how that's wrong.

NALEE 29:02

No, I don't. It's just a name.

ANTHONY 29:04

You are gonna get roasted.

NALEE 29:06

No, it's just a name.

ANTHONY 29:07

The thing is listeners, okay. Let me ask you Let me ask you this.

NALEE 29:12

Are you dating me for my name? Are you dating to get to know me? That's the thing.

ANTHONY 29:15

I'm dating to have an amicable, honest, open relationship. And when you're not being honest to me by telling me who you are, that's okay.

NALEE 29:25

Here's my this is my all in all. I ain't gonna argue over this. I said what I said, I'm gonna lay on this fucking die on this fucking heel. But if you're gonna have to do it. Yeah, if you're gonna fucking have an issue with my name, but you comment on like, oh, you got some nice tits or blah blah blah blah blah, like then you're the fucking issue. And the thing is, I don't owe anybody anything in the dating stage except for when I'm actually interested in you, because everybody's lying out in these streets. Okay.

ANTHONY 29:55

You're not you're not wrong there.

NALEE 29:56

If I'm just lying to you about my name, but then when we start actually like moving outside of hinge or whatever, and we're going to Snapchat and I actually want to like build a genuine relationship with you, I will tell you, hey, before we get into anything serious, before this becomes a big deal, before we, you know, proceed to whatever, proceed with caution. This is my real name. I use this as an alias because of my own reasons for my own personal safety. And if you have a problem with that, you're the issue, not me. Because it's a fucking name. And if you're dating me for my name, peace out. That's that's all I gotta say. That's all I gotta say.

ANTHONY 30:33

Okay.

NALEE 30:34

Ciao, you got me heated.

ANTHONY 30:37

I know I love this. I love getting you heated.

NALEE 30:40

I will say though, nobody has had an issue with that. As far as the guys that I've talked to where I've given them my real name, nobody has had has an issue because they've been understandable, like, oh, okay, yeah, that's understandable. I haven't met anybody, i.e., again like Anthony, who is like, you fucking lied to me from the first day, cause your name. No. If I don't know, I will be Right, exactly. I'm just saying, but like if I was, if I don't have this whole last relationship with you and then we was gonna get married, and then I was like, oh, by the bye, that's not my real name, then that's where the issue would. I would be like, damn, that beach delusional. But if it's like within the dating stage and we're just trying to get to know each other, and I don't really want to like, I don't really like you that way, I'm not gonna tell you my name unless I feel like, okay, this is going somewhere. And normally, majority of the guys that I'm talking to, within like the first, I would say first week, if I'm not feeling a vibe, I ain't gonna give them my real name because I don't need them Googling, I don't need them searching me, I don't need them YouTubing me or YouTubeing. I didn't need them Facebook or Instagramming me. Because the thing is, I you guys know me, I am a very private person. Photos, like daily photos aside, I'm a very private person. I was gonna say, really? Yeah. Selfies aside, I'm a I'm a I'm usually a really private person, and I don't like to just share my like Instagram and stuff. I will say of the guys that I've like dated, there's only one guy who I who actually does have like my Instagram, and that's because he was really chill. And that's it. But you know, like everybody else, I'm anonymous as fuck. Like once I'm out, I'm out. Like you aren't gonna give anything from me, you're not gonna give my number, you're not gonna give my social media, you ain't gonna even get my name because baby, you will always be a fan if if it ain't if it ain't, you know, clicking. So, but that's my theory. I don't know what you guys do, but then again, if somebody has a problem with that, for you to like keep a different name for your own safety, I don't know. That I don't know. Yes, of course, it's a white it it is a it is a lie, yes. I understand that. I understand the moral behind that, but then again, I'm lying for my own protection. And if you can't understand that, I can't help you.

ANTHONY 32:48

Okay, but there are I'm just gonna say this last thing, my last piece, and then I'll shut up.

NALEE 32:53

Okay.

ANTHONY 32:53

There are other ways to keep your safety without lying. But I don't want them to know my name.

NALEE 33:01

That's the thing. I don't want them to know my name unless I actually want to be something with them. Because the thing is, yeah, I could I could see these profiles. They're cute. Guys are cute, they're hot, and then you know, if we build some kind of like banter, okay, cool. But from there, we move on to my the way I do it is again, I'm sure y'all with my secrets or whatever. But, you know, they like they don't really care about my name. Honestly, that hasn't been an issue. Yes, it's like a way that they sometimes they flirt with me where they're like, oh blah, blah, blah, blah. Like, I like your name, blah, blah, blah. But then I'm like, uh, yeah, that's me. That's that's your girl. But then, like, immediately when I feel like, okay, this could go somewhere, then I'd be like, hey, I do just want to let you know though, that's not my actual name. You know, I just I just use it as like an alias because I don't feel comfortable giving out my name, but this is my actual name.

ANTHONY 33:52

So, what's the longest that you've talked to a guy and lied to him about your name?

NALEE 33:55

I'd say like maybe a week. Yeah, maybe a week. Yeah, so like like I'm saying, it's not that long. If I feel comfortable enough with you, then I will like I'd be like, hey, you know, I because I feel bad for being like, this isn't really my real name, but if you're trying to like you should.

ANTHONY 34:11

This is like the cancer all over again.

NALEE 34:13

My god, no, it's not. This is protection. The cancer was because I was a little bitch, but anyways, yeah, like no, it's not like the cancer. No, you made me feel bad all over again. Um but all I'm saying is if my alias name offends you that much, you probably shouldn't be talking to me then. That's it.

ANTHONY 34:38

That's it, that's all I got.

NALEE 34:40

But they always come crawling back, so I don't know.

ANTHONY 34:43

Oh my god. All right, I literally cannot with you right now.

NALEE 34:47

Okay, the last ick that I wanted to talk about was if we're meeting up and then I show up early and then I see you hitting on another girl. That's an ick for me. Like you.

ANTHONY 34:59

Actual issue.

NALEE 35:00

You think that's an actual issue?

ANTHONY 35:01

Yeah. Like it's an ick, but it's an ick that's an act is an actual issue. That's how I should have said it. Icks that are actual issues versus icks that are just you getting in your own head.

NALEE 35:11

I guess that's still an ick for me. If anybody is well, actually.

ANTHONY 35:15

But it's also an actual issue. It's an ick that's an actual idea.

NALEE 35:18

But at the same time, now that I think about it, it's an ick for me, but I guess it doesn't really matter.

ANTHONY 35:23

Because the thing is, you know, doesn't matter if you're kidding on somebody else.

NALEE 35:27

Yeah, because we're not in a relationship and we're just kind of talking and dating. Like it's not like it's whatever. Again, nobody owes me anything unless we talked about it to be like exclusive, had a conversation about it, and we like promised each other or we like made an agreement. But if we haven't even gotten to that part, I guess you don't really owe anything. Me anything, I don't really owe you anything.

ANTHONY 35:47

You know what I mean? I agree with that to a certain to a certain extent. Like if I'm going to meet somebody on a date and I walk in and you're hitting on somebody else, yeah. Like, you may not owe me anything, but you owe me my time because now I got ready, I drove down here. Like, you couldn't wait till after we went our separate ways and like walked back in and then did your shit, shot your shit with whoever you wanted to do. That's fair.

NALEE 36:12

Okay, what else did you want to talk about?

ANTHONY 36:14

Bad profiles.

NALEE 36:15

Like, what do you mean bad profiles?

ANTHONY 36:17

Bad pro Well, you're probably gonna know more than this because I'm not on any apps, so I don't know. But just from like TV shows and things that I've seen, like, are there not people on there that are just like, here's a picture of my body, or Oh yeah. Or the ones, or the ones that are like, must like fishing with the boys, or no. Is that bad? No, that's not bad. But I'm trying to think of like an example. Just like the ones that say, no fats, no, you can't, uh no blondes, only brunettes, or the ones that are like, I you may encounter this because there's the whole like Asian women are fetishized.

NALEE 37:02

Yeah.

ANTHONY 37:03

Like the profiles where they're like, I only date Asians.

NALEE 37:06

Well, the thing with Hinge is you could actually set your own preference. So nobody will ever say that. Like you could set preference with race, age, and distance. So people that you see are only gonna be filtered out to be that. So technically you won't, you should you shouldn't be seeing that. And I think they also monitor like hateful, not hateful, harmful, or like what is it? Like offensive. I can't think of offensive, yeah. Because they filter those out. Because I've had like, I would say I've gotten like a lot of like of those notifications because dudes

Hinge Culture And Profile Reality

NALEE 37:38

be commenting on my boobs or whatever. And so then it'll always filter it out to be like, these are like offensive messages. Did you want to look at them? And then I mean, like 100%.

ANTHONY 37:49

They're offensive messages, but I'm talking about their profiles. Yeah, sometimes you won't have a bad profile because they're so you won't ever have a profile where a guy is like, My name's Kyle, I'm 23, I like big boobs, dirt bikes, motorcycles.

NALEE 38:04

I haven't seen any, no.

ANTHONY 38:06

Okay.

NALEE 38:06

But then again, like I haven't like.

ANTHONY 38:08

Then I got nothing for this topic.

NALEE 38:09

Yeah, I'm not really like, I also don't really like guys' things. I usually talk to people who liked my stuff.

ANTHONY 38:17

I don't know how hinge works. I've never even seen what the interface looks like.

NALEE 38:21

Okay, well, I will give you a one-on-one. Well, how hinge works is you set up a profile. I think you get up to like four photos, and then there's little things you could write on it. You could come up with a prompt, or you could like come up with little they give you like these pre-written prompts, and then you send me a screenshot of your profile. Why? I want to see how it's touch me.

ANTHONY 38:42

I mean, probably, but I want to see how it looks like.

NALEE 38:44

It's really slutty. I'm just kidding.

ANTHONY 39:29

I believe it. I actually believe it. You probably you're probably wearing that t-shirt.

NALEE 39:36

Oh yeah. My lingerie. Your lingerie shirt. So if I was too creative for public.

ANTHONY 39:44

Oh, coincidental viewers. How I don't have it.

NALEE 39:47

No, I just deleted it like yesterday. Yeah, I deleted it yesterday. But yeah. But well, yeah, I did delete it, but then because a whole nother story. But anyways, um, well, hinge how it works is you put photos, there's pre-written prompts, you just answer the question, and then you kind of set up your profile. And what they do is they usually have an option to set the photos that is most liked at the very top. So that's the first thing people see, and then that's your profile. But then on the other side where you're looking at other people's profile, they will filter it out to whatever you had set your preferences to. And then from there, you could either X on the photo as in you're not interested. You could either like something that they said or like a photo, or you could give them a rose, which you have to pay. Um, I think you get like one free rose a day, which is really stupid. But you get one free rose a day, and that's for people like you really, really like.

ANTHONY 40:41

I'm gonna suffer hinge just as like a just as a joke? Not as a joke to just see what the interface looks like. I need a vision.

NALEE 40:51

Yeah. And so then, and so then, yeah, from there, then you just kind of look at profiles, and then you could like I said, you could do it per preference with the age, I think the like religious belief or whatever, the relationship type, like if you want to be monogamous, if you want to have an open relationship, if you're looking for short-term, long-term, distance, specific races, and stuff like that.

ANTHONY 41:14

So I'm interested, what was your profile? Long-term distance. My profile-term, long distance.

NALEE 41:19

Mine was well, I didn't know that I could change the preference of the distance. So I didn't figure that out until later on, because obviously I didn't really touch it. So then, or I didn't really touch like my preferences. The age was, I think I said it from 30. 30 is like the youngest I'll date. Even consider talking to, but 30, I think it was to 30, 38. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. 30 to 42, I think. 30 to 42. That is a bad range. I know. I was like, I was testing it out to see like, you know, so it was 30 to 42. I I didn't I didn't preference the race. I just kind of did whatever's available or to see like, you know, to see what's available. And then distance, like I said, I didn't know I could adjust that, but I think it goes up to like a hundred, like a hundred miles or whatever. And then what was the other thing? Oh, the relationship status, like short-term, long-term. I didn't do that, but I did set it to monogamous, like, you know, because I ain't about to share with nobody. But anyways, yeah, and so it's been that. And so then, like, usually the people that I talk to are people who liked my profile, and then I go from there.

SPEAKER_00 42:27

So it's so you only talk to people who liked your profile?

NALEE 42:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 42:32

Oh, that's funny.

NALEE 42:33

How's that funny?

SPEAKER_00 42:34

Because you signed up for it and you didn't like use it to like search yourself.

NALEE 42:38

You only that's the thing though. I didn't really need to use it because like I must sound like a like I must sound like a a whore or whatever. But but I got like a lot of likes, so I didn't need to look for people. You know what I mean? I didn't need to like search through the thing. Like, I don't know.

ANTHONY 42:56

I didn't need to look for people because they all came to me because I'm shit.

NALEE 43:01

Period. So yeah, yeah, like I think the first day, not to brag or anything, I think there was like a hundred and like maybe 150, and I thought I broke it because it wasn't working anymore. So I was I was asking Khalia for tips because obviously Khalia used hinge. And she's like, I don't know, girl, I don't know. And so then, but the thing too is they only limit you to I think like 14 people that you could talk to. So then if I talk to like a certain set of people and like they didn't message me for like two or three days, you can un what is it? Unhinged them or I don't know what it's called. Unmatched, yeah. Unhinged them. I mean, it makes sense. Yeah, and so then you would have to like kind of clean out your like thing, but it seems like a lot of work. That's it was a lot of work. That's why I didn't really touch it. I was just like, okay, I'll just let y'all come to me because I don't know how this works. And then, and again, like I'm new to the dating scene, so I don't even know like what to do, kind of a thing. And also my location that I'm at, like, I don't know anything out here. So people would be like, oh, do you want to go here and here? And I'm like, I don't even know how far that is. Like, I don't know what that is. Like, what do you do? Like, you know? So everything like brand new. I'm like a baby, like I know nothing. So I know shit about fuck, period.

ANTHONY 44:10

Funny, because I just said that today. I said I don't know fuck about shit.

NALEE 44:13

Yeah.

ANTHONY 44:14

But yeah, whatever.

NALEE 44:16

I don't know. I feel like it could be used interchangeably, but yeah, that's a long spiel. Yeah.

ANTHONY 44:21

Okay. Well, that was a boring topic then.

NALEE 44:23

That that was I don't know much. Just yet.

ANTHONY 44:27

I it was. I don't know much, so I'm relying on you.

NALEE 44:30

No, but I will say there are some funny profiles, like worst profiles aside, but there are some funny ones. I will say the the guy that I've, you know, you know, I'm just gonna say the guy that I've been talking to. Anyways, his was really funny because he put his credit score on there. And I was just like, Are you fucking serious? Like, are you serious?

ANTHONY 44:54

And Nolly was like, oh, he got money.

NALEE 44:57

No, no, it's funny because he liked my profile, he liked my picture, and then I looked through his thing and I was like, what the fuck? Why do you have your credit score up? And I was like, I was like, lol, your last photo had me dying. And he's like, Yeah, that was the point. And I'm like, okay, well, is it a real one or a fake one? You know? And he's like, Well, it's my real credit score. I'm like, okay, sir, I see you. That's when I started going, okay.

SPEAKER_00 45:22

She's not kidding.

NALEE 45:23

I'm kidding. I'm kidding, I'm kidding. But um anything else. You can send it to him. He don't listen. He don't even he doesn't even have my Instagram or any of my social media, like I said.

ANTHONY 45:34

That you know of.

NALEE 45:35

He doesn't. He doesn't.

ANTHONY 45:36

How do you how do you know he hasn't found you and he just doesn't follow you, but he checks you out every day?

NALEE 45:40

Because my name is not spelled like how my name is spelled on my social media. You know how like it's backwards.

ANTHONY 45:46

Yeah.

NALEE 45:47

So people don't know.

ANTHONY 45:48

Yeah, you're just telling all our listeners.

NALEE 45:50

Oh. I mean, if you listen to us and you look at our social media, you know my profile, but I'm just saying, like people who who like don't listen, don't know anything about us, it's not gonna matter to them. You know what I mean? So I don't think he knows that. I I found his profile stuff though, so it is what it is.

ANTHONY 46:08

I'm just saying.

NALEE 46:10

I'm just saying.

ANTHONY 46:11

There's some people that I f I don't follow, but I check their Instagram.

NALEE 46:15

Oh we know Boo. We know.

ANTHONY 46:17

Oh we know. We okay what did you have?

NALEE 46:20

For me, I had ghosting culture. I think I had my first ghoster. Loki, it was kind of sad. It wasn't that sad, but it was just kind of like oh I thought you we were chill. But at the end of the day it was my fault actually.

ANTHONY 46:35

Because you lied to him about your name.

NALEE 46:37

I did not lie to him about my name. I genuinely was like it was not my fault. Because you guys I've been really busy but so there's this guy that I've been talking to here we go. You guys want to hear my dating stories? I'll give you guys some here and there but I'm not gonna tell y'all the full story. This is a guy I was talking to maybe for about like a month and a half we've gone on like three dates and then we're gonna go on our fourth date but he's like very inconsistent. He only messages me like right in the morning and then at the end of the day like he would just message me like hey what you doing and then he disappears for a while and then he messages me before he goes to sleep and says like goodnight and stuff. But he's he he's like really consistent with that. But at the same time like he didn't really ask me out to see me and stuff like that. It's like once in a like once every other week or whatever. And so then he had asked me he's like hey like I haven't seen you for a while kind of missing your face blah blah blah. And so he's like where should we meet up and so then I opened his message and I typed the message out but I completely forgot to send it. And so then I forgot what we were doing but we probably went out or something. And then on Saturday on it was on it was like on a weekday because normally we would like meet up or we would like I don't know meet up during the weekend or whatever. And so then I forgot to send it and so then mind you this was like Thursday and so then I had messaged him like oh my God I thought I sent the message but I didn't and then I was like we could meet up at this place and then he just never messaged me back. And I was like oh okay well then it's whatever.

ANTHONY 48:06

So what day was this that you sent it?

NALEE 48:08

I sent it on Thursday and we were gonna meet up on Saturday. Yeah. Okay. What but honestly I think like I think he just I don't know if he just wasn't really into me like that or maybe he was and maybe that was an ick for him. I don't know. But like I felt like I was he was too serious anyways because you guys know me like I'm a fucking troll I like make I like instigating I like joking around I think he was too serious anyways so I'm just like it's fine and so then I think after that like I haven't he hasn't messaged me. I'm not blocked

Ghosting, Blocking, And Mixed Signals

NALEE 48:39

though I know that for a fact and like I said people who he didn't really ghost me but he's still looking at like my my snaps and stuff like that. So at this point he's just gonna be a fan of mine. That's it. God but I mean I don't I think being ghosted like that though I don't feel I guess because I really I felt like I really wasn't that invested in like whatever it was I don't think I was as sad. I was just like oh okay whatever but like I think if it was somebody who I actually really liked or somebody who I like spent a lot more intimate time with and we did like a lot of stuff together I probably would be sad. I'd be like oh that sucks I thought this is going somewhere. You know what I mean? Yeah. But yeah. Oh there was this other guy maybe it's not really considered ghosting but I had told him that like I wasn't like interested in him in that way. He just he just blocked me. So I don't know if that's considered ghosting or whatnot.

ANTHONY 49:35

But I I think if you told him that you're not interested I don't think that's considered ghosting.

NALEE 49:40

Oh really? Yeah I don't think so okay then never mind maybe that's not ghosting but yeah how was that keep talking to you? I don't know I just told him that like if you again like if I was like if you wanted to be friends we could like you know we could go on for walks and stuff like that that's fine but you know if you don't want to be friends just cool with me. And he just blocked me. Like he was typing like you know on Snapchat it could show that people are typing yeah and then boom he like disappeared I'm like oh I guess he blocked me whatever oh okay I just want to backtrack one more thing on icks oh my god another ick of another ick of mine is when they us they say when they like when guys assume that like because you're older than them you should be paying for stuff like if you're you're talking to a younger guy and they're like oh well you're older than me you should be paying for stuff that's an ick for me yeah yeah if it's an assumption that no yeah that's an ick for me anyways back to ghosting culture I haven't really been ghosted so I don't really know but I feel like I would be sad if it's somebody I really liked. Again knock on wood but we'll see what happens and then my second one was catfishing. But first did you have anything to add to ghost ghosting culture?

ANTHONY 50:55

No but catfishing sounds fun Stephanie catfishing let's see they have a show on Hulu I'm just kidding but it's actually really good I like is it on Hulu?

NALEE 51:08

It's on Hulu yeah oh sweet I should go on with Nevada yeah with Nev yeah it was on Hulu I don't know if it's still on it anymore but I think they already stopped well Nev is no longer on the show the other guy is oh really yeah the guy with the gray hair yeah yeah I think I love how I do my hair like this yeah chicken but but anyways catfishing is fun catfishing I'm just kidding horrible I think my my biggest thing is I'm scared of catfish people so normally like if before before like we go on a date and they look at my photos and stuff I usually say don't be surprised if I don't look completely like my photos and then because that's not a fucking red flag she's gonna show up with one lazy eye looking like she had a fucking stroke. I am Nolly or I'm sorry hey that's Stephanie Oh oh my god that was really good that was really good thanks I'm practicing my strokes yeah that's kind of scary actually but it is what it is um but that's one of my main concerns like my the pictures on my hinge account I try to use as more more like the most natural photos that I have of myself that is still low-key filtered but I think that's a big thing like my thing is I think they're just as scared of getting catfished as you are of them you know what I mean so I try not to like make it a big deal but I like again I'm a troll like normally when I meet up with people and I get there I'm like hey I'm the guy with the blue shirt I'm the old man with the blue shirt and like some dudes would be like are you kidding me and then I would show up and they'd be like oh shit I thought you were for real but I'm like no it's me it's me. It's me it's me. It's me.

ANTHONY 52:55

Okay catfishing. Yeah I love the show.

NALEE 52:58

Love the show.

ANTHONY 52:58

I'm not a fan of catfishing.

NALEE 53:00

Have you ever been catfished before?

ANTHONY 53:03

Yes actually you have okay I want to hear the story. Well I don't know if maybe it's it's catfish I guess it is

Catfishing, Filters, And Old Photos

ANTHONY 53:11

no it really wasn't catfishing. I take that back it wasn't it was in high school I have a question.

NALEE 53:17

I have a question what do you consider catfishing? Is it the fact that they don't look exactly like their photos they don't look like they look older than their photos or they don't look com they are completely different from their photos. Because I feel like there's different levels of catfishing.

ANTHONY 53:31

For me I think catfishing is anything to being untrue to who you are. And so like one of the things that I was going to mention with this topic is women are all catfishers because you guys fucking paint on a face I just saw I just saw a picture the other day of Kylie Jenner where she did her makeup one way on one side of the face and her makeup a completely different way on the different side on the other side of the face. It is fucking mind blowing how much women can make themselves look different. True and that's what I would consider catfishing. So like if I met you I would expect you to I would expect the pictures that I see of you to be what I would see every day if we were in a relationship. So not the picture of you with your face painted up and you're all dolled up like I want to see what I'm what I would be working with at home if we were in a relationship. Mmm okay there's no I'm not saying I'm not saying by any means that we're getting canceled we're getting canceled we're getting canceled. Cancel me then bitches I'm not saying by any means like I don't want to see the pictures of you like dolled up and going out on a night on the town with your girlfriends or whatever but I I do want to see both. Like I don't want to see Kylie Jenner at a photo shoot and then when I meet you in person at the restaurant looking at Gypsy Rose Blanchard.

NALEE 55:06

Oh my gosh That's a fucking jump I mean she's cute.

ANTHONY 55:12

Well that's what I'm saying though that's that's what I'm saying specifically with women you're you wear so much makeup and you change so much you got your extensions in you got your push up bra and then it's like oh yeah I'm gonna come home with you and then you go in the bathroom and there's lashes on the counter uh there's fake tits over there there's there's a body cincher Miss Don't fire over here. That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. You guys are women are shape shifters and that for me is catfishing.

NALEE 55:43

Okay.

ANTHONY 55:43

Well I have one rebuttal if I'm unable to see the real you and you're only showing me versions of you that I have to wait four hours to get to hang out with I have I have one one rebuttal for your whole conversation. Okay.

NALEE 55:58

Obviously everybody catfishes whether they want to admit it or not if they look good angle's good I catfish half of the time okay actually not half like 98% of the time. Yeah exactly I don't look like any of the photos that I post up I mean I feel like I do but I don't some of them you do.

ANTHONY 56:14

Some of them I'm like that bitch used filter.

NALEE 56:17

Yeah but what I was trying to say was the fact that yes girls are women are catfishers in your terms I okay I get that. But at the same time though it's the thing of is men the first thing they see is what they're attracted to. I ain't gonna show up looking like fucking gypsy blanchard to your first date you ain't gonna want to be with me. Someone show up like Kylie Jenner show you what I got.

ANTHONY 57:33

You know okay but again I said it's not that I don't want to see those pictures so if I'm swiping you on a hinge and I'm looking through your photos if every single photo looks like Kylie Jenner and then I meet you and we start a relationship or you I don't know maybe you come home with me and you know things in the wild and then I wake up in the morning and then eyelashes are on the counter body centers on the ground like and you're a completely different person the next day like show me both. I want to know what to expect.

NALEE 58:02

Then at that point if you're like ew then don't don't hit her up again. Just be like peace out. This is a good night I saw your body centers your lashes on my counter you kind of scare me a little bit and I ain't gonna see you again. Goodbye. We had a good time. But it's not always about a good time as well you seem to have a good time the night after the night before so like I did.

ANTHONY 58:24

It's like it's like what's that movie Shallow Hal.

NALEE 58:27

Oh yeah that's such a good movie such a good movie but I think kids don't know that movie.

ANTHONY 58:33

I almost don't know that movie I almost don't know that movie either but yeah it's the premise of it. So for me that that's catfishing. Okay okay interesting and especially if you prolong it and obviously the definitive like what do you mean prolong it? So I feel like this was in a movie or something. So again we are in the movie let's just say the the extensions the eye like makeup the Kylie Jenner look and you're prolonging it and you're prolonging it you're prolonging it and we're okay fine. I guess this is what it is. And then after months I'm like I told I roll over in bed one day and I'm looking at Gypsy Rose Blanchard like the fuck?

NALEE 59:15

I don't know. I mean yeah I guess that's true because I know guys sorry I don't know what the fuck's going on with my glasses. Guys they don't put on makeup and stuff but like well more guys do now. Yeah that's true. Some guys do put on makeup but still like I don't know I don't I I can't really say on that part because my thing is if you meet me in person and I I guess I don't know I can't really relate to that because again like I feel like I put on makeup but I don't put on a lot of makeup so I feel like I kind of look like how I look already so I can't really say that that. But like if I put on really heavy makeup if like I'm a person who puts on really heavy makeup then I'd be like okay you could see the difference. You know what I mean? Are you saying that I put on a lot of makeup bitch?

ANTHONY 59:58

Yeah when you're going out.

NALEE 59:59

I feel like I can put on a lot of makeup I can yeah but it's just my eyes like I do my eye makeup. That's it but I don't have like foundation I don't like really color my face yeah this is just my this is my real skin.

ANTHONY 1:00:11

Damn okay you got good skin period now I know why those guys like that Asian bukkaki ew fucking nasty I just wanted to see how you would react to that.

NALEE 1:00:22

That's disgusting. If y'all don't want to if y'all don't want to know what bukkaky is isn't it like peeing on you or like no it's when a guy comes on a girl's face oh we like that just kidding dead I'm just kidding guess we know where Nolly stands everybody anyways oh my god oh my god that was a joke it was supposed to be a joke don't take it so seriously it landed it landed better than I thought for sure you said it so perfectly because you're like oh we like that we like that yeah that landed really good but um but anyways yeah like yeah I don't I don't put on that much makeup it's usually just my eyes but everything else is just my regular face but again I understand what you're talking about where people put on like full like 10 pounds of makeup you know everywhere I I get that because sometimes like again like I love Mila but that bitch could go from looking homeless to like a hundred percent it's like I'm gonna roll over in the morning you're not gonna be there but your face is still gonna be on the pillowcase. Yeah yeah I mean I'm not I'm not saying that she you know my my sister Mila she's beautiful but I'm just saying that like the only reason though is because she knows how to put on makeup she knows how to do the one layer at a time me I don't know how to fucking do makeup so the only thing I concentrate is on my eyes and everything else is gonna look patchy.

ANTHONY 1:01:45

I feel like there's been times that you had like heavy makeup on no I don't really have my heavy makeup on.

NALEE 1:01:51

Now I'm gonna go back to your photos that's the one good thing about me is that I don't have heavy makeup on like foundation and stuff because my skin yeah my skin's really sensitive so I don't put on foundation I put on sunscreen like tinted sunscreen maybe that's what it is but maybe that's what it is. Yeah but anyways do you have anything else to add to catfishing?

ANTHONY 1:02:09

Because I have what's your definition of catfishing?

NALEE 1:02:13

My definition of catfishing is I would say kind of like what you said where like the photos that you see doesn't look doesn't look ex not I'm not expecting it to be 100% perfect because I know that like some of my photos are filtered. So I'm gonna give them a little we leave some of your photos are filtered? Yeah some of them are filtered some the sum was in like 20 20 20 like 29 2009 from like 2011 those were not filtered but anything beyond then they're all filtered so when the smartphones came and all the apps started coming to the phone when the technology came through yeah but like if if you don't look like somewhat like your photos then I would consider that like catfishing. I'm not gonna expect you to look polished and clean like all of the photos. I haven't met anybody yet that looks exactly like their photos. So again that's my own expectation where I'm like okay they're gonna look a little bit different not exactly and I also have that expectation on myself where I'm like okay I know my photos some of them are filtered so I usually tell them that hey like I'm not gonna I'm not gonna look exactly like my photos but I look I look similar to my photos like I look enough like my photos I look like myself kind of a thing you know go on you look like you are about to have a oh I have a question but I'll I'll wait. Yeah but I'm just saying that like when it comes to catfishing I think he think it's kind of fucked up that people catfish if they do catfish. A hundred percent especially if like on that show they prolong it yeah like like you I think if somebody likes you they should like you for like who you are like I get it again I it's probably coming from like real name and all a place a place of hip what is it hypocriticism? I don't fucking know hypocrisy that's the word I'm looking for hypocrisy hypocrisy that's the word you're looking for hypocrisy if it's coming from that like because obviously you know I filter my photos but my thing is I'm not gonna have high expectations because I know I know where I stand and I can't expect people to be like that too. You know what I mean? Or I could only expect people to be like how I am so I get it. And also photos can be deceiving like my my good side is my right side. So y'all already know that whenever we take photos I'm always like I have to be on the right side I can attest to this this bitch will adjust everybody in the fucking photo just so that her side can be seen I will I will and I will we take as many photos as I need necessary so that I look good in the photo. And this is why my camera's a little angled because this is my good side. But anyways what were you gonna say?

ANTHONY 1:04:51

That's all I had to say I was gonna ask you so what are your thoughts on the people that like like let's just say I was on Hinge and okay maybe this is a bad example but like so I'm 38 but my pictures on my profile are from 2008.

NALEE 1:05:11

Oh I've had that happen to me.

ANTHONY 1:05:13

That's a bad example because like in my mind when I wanted to ask that question I was thinking of like people who are older but they're still using picture like older people. Like I'm talking about people in their 50s who are posting pictures from when they were in their 30s or 20s.

NALEE 1:05:27

Yeah I think what I've seen is I would say maybe like people who are maybe 35 and up they usually use younger photos of themselves and then like when you meet them face to face you could tell that oh like they're much they're more mature than do you find that a form of catfishing? Oh yeah for sure. Yeah there was a guy that I went on a date with and he said that he was I think 38 in profile his photos like they looked recent but then they looked like he like he looked really good in the photos. And I'm not saying that he's ugly or anything he did look decent but like in his photos I was like oh okay like it's cute it's whatever and so then when I actually went up went and met up with him I was like oh like you actually look different from your photos like you could tell that he was more mature he was a little bit older and so then I like during the day I had asked him I'm like okay well how old are you actually and see this is again this is probably backfiring it's probably gonna backfire from why I I don't use my name but he lied about his age but I don't lie about anything but but my name like that's any better it's not but still it's for my safety so I'm not gonna I'm not gonna allow anybody to argue that with me but I'm just saying he lied about his age he was actually I think little diabetes join in on this he was actually he was actually 32 or 42 and then when I met him he did not look like any of his photos like in his photos he did he did have like like six pack or whatever and then like when I saw it it was not six pack it was a keg it wasn't a keg but it just wasn't like a six pack you know what I mean and so then I was like okay what it was squishy I don't know what it was it just what it was what it was is what it was. You shook his belly and he went ho ho ho no he wasn't he wasn't he wasn't like chubby or anything but it just wasn't a six pack is what I'm saying. And so then I was just like oh okay and it was like my first time like getting I wouldn't consider I would probably consider like catfishing but not really because he did look like his photos. Again I was giving him a little grace because I'm like yeah I get it like I filter my photos too but then again like I looked better than I did in my photos though that day when I we went and met up so I'm like okay see yeah that's the thing if in your pictures you look decent but if you show up you look a little bit better I'm willing to be like okay you know what I get it I don't look like my photos and I look cuter but you know it is what it is.

ANTHONY 1:07:51

That just shows that you put forth effort for the date.

NALEE 1:07:53

Yeah exactly I always do but regardless like catfishing I think it's kind of like fucked up a little bit or at least give them a heads up and be like be like give them a you know give them a heads up and be like hey like I just want to let you know that you know these photos are filtered. I may not look exactly like what I want but at least look like how you you kind of do. Don't be like a 15 year old boy or whatever. You know what I mean?

ANTHONY 1:08:18

Like I'm just saying for example just right you know but yeah but that was my topic what would you do if you agreed to meet somebody on a date and they catfished and you showed up and it was a 15 year old boy.

NALEE 1:08:31

I'd probably leave I yeah I would I'd probably call the cops and leave.

ANTHONY 1:08:36

Call the cops on yourself?

NALEE 1:08:37

No on him.

ANTHONY 1:08:38

Can they get in trouble for that?

NALEE 1:08:39

I wonder I feel like they could but I would be like if if they look like young I would actually I probably would Call the cops unless I know that they look like I don't know. I'd probably call the cops still and be like, he robbed me. He robbed me of my time.

ANTHONY 1:08:54

He robbed me for a chance for love.

NALEE 1:08:57

No, I wouldn't I wouldn't call the cops. I'd just leave, honestly.

ANTHONY 1:09:01

Yeah.

NALEE 1:09:01

And then I'd block it. Or I would probably be like, ha ha, you're funny, and then leave.

ANTHONY 1:09:07

I wouldn't even respond. I would just block and leave.

NALEE 1:09:09

Yeah.

ANTHONY 1:09:10

Or leave and block. Not in that order.

NALEE 1:09:13

Yeah. Okay. Anyways, did you have anything else to add before we move on to segment two?

ANTHONY 1:09:18

Catfishing. Don't do it.

NALEE 1:09:20

Don't do it. It's not fun. It's not cute. It's not fun being catfished. It may be fun being the catfisher, but it's not fun being catfished.

ANTHONY 1:09:27

That's not even.

NALEE 1:09:28

Yeah. All right. Segment two is about modern love confusion. So what even is dating anymore?

ANTHONY 1:09:36

At this point, it's practically just a social experiment. Let's be honest.

NALEE 1:09:39

It really is. It really is.

ANTHONY 1:09:42

What what did you want to bring to the table for this modern love confusion?

NALEE 1:09:48

Um okay. Well, I'm just gonna name my topics really quick, and then I'm just gonna do like a big overview of it. Because they're all kind of like they're all kind of like similar in a way, kind of ish. Okay. Um, I'm gonna talk about talking stages, labels versus no labels, and love bombing. First, I'm gonna talk about love bombing. Love bombing is a very real thing, guys. Like, um stupid.

ANTHONY 1:10:11

What is love bombing? Help me out.

NALEE 1:10:13

So love bombing is like, let's say you just talk to this guy for two days and he's like, oh my god, I want to marry you. Like, you're my wife, I see a future with you, and you don't even fucking know this stranger. And they're promising you the world.

ANTHONY 1:10:25

They probably don't even know your first name.

NALEE 1:10:27

They don't know my first name. Exactly. Uh happened.

ANTHONY 1:10:32

It's for protection.

NALEE 1:10:33

Exactly, exactly. See protection from love bombing. See, exactly. But valid. My valid reason. But yeah, that's what love bombing is. And it could happen for girls too. We're like, they're like, oh my god, like you are. I don't know what are examples of love bombing from women.

ANTHONY 1:10:51

Well, same thing. It could be the oh yeah, yeah.

NALEE 1:10:53

Literally, I want you to be the man of my the father of my children. Okay. You got a real big bad donkey, you're real cute, real smart, real tentative. I like the way you communicate. You're gonna be successful, all that kind of sorts of stuff. So that's love bombing. Like you don't really know this person, but they're promising you the world pretty much.

ANTHONY 1:11:13

Okay.

NALEE 1:11:14

That can be very scary. I think you can I feel like in the dating scene, like if you don't, if you don't realize that that what love bombing is, I think it's it's really unfortunate because sometimes, like, I'm not gonna lie, like again, I love love. Y'all know that I love love. But like when people promise you the world, and if you're the type of person who like wears their heart under your sleeves, baby girl, it's gonna be real hard in these streets. Like, it's gonna be real hard. So I think one thing, what I wanted to bring up in regards to love bombing is being able to recognize what it is when it's happening, so that you know that you're not gonna put yourself in a situation that you don't want to be in. And it and one thing that I learned from being in the dating scene is that it's okay to say no. It's okay to black people who like you don't feel comfortable with, it's okay saying saying no to a date. I don't know. You don't owe them anything. You don't owe them anything, you don't owe an ounce of an iota of your time to them. You don't fucking know they're strangers unless you've you've like built like some kind of relationship over time, then okay, maybe like you need to have a conversation and be like, yo, I feel like you're love bombing me, or I think you're making promises you can't keep, kind of a thing. And be an adult about it. But I think love bombing is very common because I think, again, it's like right now it's like hookup culture where people will tell you exactly what you want to hear. And if you wear your heart's heart on your sleeve, you're you're gonna believe them. You're gonna be love believe them that oh, like this act this person is actually like they have my best interest in mind and they're really nice and they care about me, blah blah blah blah. But baby girl, it's only been like two days. They haven't even smelt how you smelt, like after you go to

Love Bombing And Talking Stages

NALEE 1:12:49

the gym or whatever, you know. Like, don't be don't be. I was gonna take a turn, but I decided not to. But but you know, like, and it y'all might hate me, but it's really hard, and maybe my cancel, I might get canceled for this, whatever, but like don't make it so easy for people. You know what I mean? Like, don't make it so easy for people to make you feel like you're not enough. And honestly, I feel like I may be going through this, I don't know, but I feel like work on yourself first before you go into the dating scene. And again, I could I could be giving myself this own advice, but value yourself first so that whatever people say to you is just like, oh, it's just another thought, like, oh, it's just another compliment. Like, don't use their words and hold it with weight. Like, it's not that serious. Like, they have to, again, actions speak louder than words. Right now, especially in the dating scene, if they're saying that let's go on a date, let's go, blah, blah, blah, blah, do this and do that, and they're like planning all these things with you, but they don't actually pull up, they gotta go. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah.

ANTHONY 1:13:52

I'm not understanding why you think that you're gonna get canceled for that though. Because that's good advice.

NALEE 1:13:57

Well, I was just saying that like I'm not trying to say that people are easy, but people are easy. You know what I mean?

ANTHONY 1:14:02

Well, people are easy because, like you said, we're kind of we've kind of evolved into like this hookup culture society, and it's crazy.

NALEE 1:14:11

It's just crazy.

ANTHONY 1:14:13

I feel like people just throw around the word love, right? Yeah. It's like, I love you. I love you. Oh, we've been together for three weeks. I love you so much.

NALEE 1:14:23

You can't love me. You don't even know me.

ANTHONY 1:14:25

Yeah, yeah. Like, you don't even know how I wipe my ass.

NALEE 1:14:28

Yeah, exactly.

ANTHONY 1:14:29

We haven't even like been in the bathroom.

NALEE 1:14:31

You may have tasted it, but you may not have you don't know how I wipe it. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding.

ANTHONY 1:14:39

You've never been in the bathroom brushing your teeth while I'm in there dropping the kids off. Catch my drift.

NALEE 1:14:45

Yeah, I get it. But yeah, and so that's love bombing for y'all's talking stages. Oof. It's rough. That's all I'm gonna say is that it's rough. Like, I think going back into the dating scene, not like really knowing people's intentions, but you want to like put your best foot forward. You want to be authentic, you wanna be genuine, you wanna be yourself. I think it's really hard for people, again, who like wear their hearts on their sleeves and they believe, oh, this is gonna sound bad, but there are still good people out there, but not everybody's good that you talk to, you know? And you have to kind of use your intuition, kind of have to be mindful of the things that people say to you. Again, I feel like talking stages, you don't owe anybody anything yet, unless you guys have had you guys have had that conversation of like, hey, like I want to date you exclusively or whatever. Again, this is advice I could be taking for myself.

ANTHONY 1:15:37

Can you explain what talking stages is? Because I thought I understood, but your last comment just now just threw me for a loop.

NALEE 1:15:43

Yeah, so talking stages is you're not exactly like girlfriend and boyfriend. And so then, because the thing is, I what I also learned recently too is you have to communicate with people that you're talking to, whether they are the type of people who just kind of assumes that they assume the position of like, oh, you know, just because you and I are talking, we're we're now just talking to each other. Or if there's there's those people who like, I'm gonna ask you to be my girlfriend, I'm gonna ask you to be my boyfriend, and then that will that will solidify the relationship. So I think when you're in the talking stages, it's pre that. So it's before all of that happens. So you're just talking, getting to know each other, you're going on dates, but you're not actually like an item, if you know what I mean.

ANTHONY 1:16:27

Okay. Yes.

NALEE 1:16:29

So sometimes it could get kind of blurred because again, that's where situationships come into play. Where you're in the talking stages, but you're not a girlfriend, you're not boyfriend and boyfriend, you're doing girlfriend, boyfriend things, but it hasn't been defined yet. So that's when it kind of becomes a situationship. Whereas let's say you're talking and then the person who you're talking to at has that conversation where you're where they're like, hey, like I want to be your boyfriend, I want to be your girlfriend, can we make this exclusive? Then that's when it actually becomes a relationship, not a situationship. But nowadays, a lot of the people who are in talking stages are in situationships. Let's say we've been talking for six months, but the man I'm talking to hasn't asked me out or whatever, and I had asked him, like, what is your definition of being in a relationship? And he says, me asking you to be my girlfriend and he hasn't done that yet, that's a whole last situation ship right there. You know, but let's say if early on, like maybe in the two, three month stage where you're like, hey, like, you know, I feel like we're getting serious, we've been seeing each other, and how would you interpret the relationship? And they're just like, oh, we're just chilling, we're just seeing where it going, where it's going, but y'all are doing like physical stuff, and you know, you guys are acting like girlfriend and boyfriend, but it hasn't been defined yet. That's a situation ship. So that whole that whole before being a girlfriend and boyfriend officially, that's considered the talking stage. So you could still be dating, like you're going out on dates, going to meet each other, do these things, but you're still not a couple yet. Unless you guys have had that conversation of like I'm yours, you're mine, let's do this exclusively. Anything before that is just a talking stage. But anyways, for me, like You're making me feel old.

ANTHONY 1:18:09

Just an eye. I don't know, because I feel like I'm learning so much. I didn't know any of this.

NALEE 1:18:15

This is all made up by me. I don't know if this is real or not. So this is a good idea.

ANTHONY 1:18:19

Oh Jesus Christ. I thought you were telling me.

NALEE 1:18:21

But it is, it is what it is. Cause, you know, a lot of the, you know, people that I'm talking to, like, we're in the talking stage too. We're just trying to get to know each other. And that's literally what it is. We're trying to get to know each other. We're trying, we're not defined by like a label or anything, which is what I'm gonna talk talk about next, which is kind of what I already talked about. But yeah, like I think a lot of people like they get stuck in the talking stage if they don't really date intentionally or if they don't really like point out their boundaries, like, hey, it's been this long. If you don't want to be with me, let me know now, kind of a thing. You know what I mean? And I feel like in talking stages, it's important for you to lay out your boundaries. For example, let's say if you decide that, hey, if I'm spending time with this guy for six months, and if by six months he doesn't define, he doesn't like put a label on it or he doesn't ask me out or whatever, I'm out. Because that's a lot of time. Six months is a lot of time, but yeah, it's also a good amount of time for you to know their daily routines, how they actually are. You know, like you get to have like intimate moments with them and you kind of get to see the real them. And it gives you an actual trial of like, can I be compatible with this person long term? And I've also learned that like the guy just doesn't have to be the one who asks you to be their boyfriend, though. Like you could, you could you could let them know that hey, like, you know, I see this being serious, like I want to be your girlfriend, I want us to date exclusively, and that's fine.

ANTHONY 1:19:47

I think Do people do that?

NALEE 1:19:49

Why is that good or bad?

ANTHONY 1:19:50

I just I I've never heard of people doing that. So I'm I'm genuinely curious. Do people do that? Do people say, Do you want to be my girlfriend? I think so, yeah. I feel like that was a thing when I was younger.

NALEE 1:20:01

That's the thing too, is that there's a lot of blurred blurred lines. That's why, like, if you're in talking with somebody for like, I don't know, for a couple of months and it's been quite a while, you guys should have that conversation. That's the thing too. I just I didn't learn this until recently, and I think it depends on whoever you talk to. You know what I mean?

ANTHONY 1:20:17

Right. I agree with having the conversation, but I'm I'm just curious, do people actually say, Do you want to be my boyfriend? Do you want to be my girlfriend? Like, I think some people use those words.

NALEE 1:20:28

Yeah, I think some people do. I haven't gotten there yet, so I don't know. I'm just saying. But uh, like I feel like they don't flat out be like, will you be my boyfriend? But they would be like, hey, so you know, what are your thoughts on like us being an official thing? Or whatever. I think it's more like that, not like, will you be my girlfriend, will you be my boyfriend, kind of a thing. They just say, hey, let's establish this right now. Like, is we gonna do this kind of a thing. You know what I mean? And they could be like, will you be my girlfriend? Will you be my boyfriend? Who knows? You know, but I'm just saying that again, it's that conversation that needs to be had. And if you guys haven't had it and you feel like you need to, like, in my opinion, in my professional MDA, LSD, DWI degree. DW, don't just wait for the guys, because at this, at this point, it's what what do you want? Girls, ladies, what do you want? You know, like, and if you ask them and they're like, nah, I'm not ready for it, that's your answer. That's your answer, you know?

ANTHONY 1:21:27

So if they're not ready for it, that's a no-go, doors closed.

NALEE 1:21:30

Depending on where you're at. If you're like, oh yeah, like I'm a quick I'm okay with that too. It's the thing, like, just be honest. Like, my thing is, and I'm not saying I'm doing this, but like now I'm gonna move over to like the labels in the labels versus no labels. So, for example, like if you like, let's just say if you're not ready to be in a committed relationship, but you just want to fuck, be honest and just say, hey, I'm not looking forward to being a commitment, committed relationship. I'm just looking to fuck. Are you chill with that? And if you're upfront with it and they're like, yeah, cool, same thing. Then done. You guys have established that you guys are just fuck buddies. Done, you know, and be fine with that. But if you are in that stage where, let's say, if you're fuck buddies and you start developing feelings, you have to worry, you have to voice that too and be like, hey, you know what? I know we're just doing this for fun and it is what it is, but I'm starting to catch feelings. How do you feel about this? Again, it's that communication of we need to talk about this. Don't just kind of let things go one-sided when this other person is like, oh yeah, like I'm just fucking this person. And they don't know what's going on because who knows, maybe they might start developing feelings for you too. You know what I mean? And so then that again could lead you to the stage of, do you guys want to be a thing or do you guys not want to be a thing? I think people nowadays they get so like scared of rejection where they're just like, oh, like I'm gonna pretend to be a good guy or a good girl to be in your good graces, but then they don't really want that commitment. Like they want access to you, but they don't want the commitment part of it. And I think if people were just up front with it, I think they would be surprised how easy the other person will be willing to be, like willing to reciprocate that. You know what I mean? Because nowadays, again, hookup culture. If you're just like, hey, I just want to fuck, hell, I want to fuck too. Okay, cool. You know, like, but if you're just like, oh no, like I'm here for a committed relationship and I want to see things through, but really you just want to fuck. And then you put this girl or this guy into this whole ass like relationship, and then at the end of the day, you're just not ready for it, and you're like, oh yeah, by the bye, I'm not ready for a relationship, peace out, then that's when you fuck people up. That's when you mess them up, and that's when you really mess around with people's feelings. And my only thing is that like when you are and again, the talking stage or the situation ship stage, just communicate. Just be like, hey, you know what? I don't think this is what I thought it would be, and I'm gonna go this way. You know, I'm thank you for your time. Blah, blah, blah, blah. How do you feel about this? Let them vent too. Let them give them their two-piece, and then if you don't agree, just say, you know, we're adults, this is my decision. And, you know, again, maybe it's not what you wanted, but this is how I feel. But be honest and be genuine about it. Again, you would be surprised. I feel like I'm spitting so much on my end here. You'd be surprised, like how honest people are willing to be with you too, if you were just honest with them. You know, be vulnerable. Just even if it's even if you don't want a relationship with them, even if you don't if you're scared of hurting your feelings. Again, what do I always say? So what if feelings are hurt? At least you're being honest. At the end of the day, that's all you're doing.

ANTHONY 1:24:29

I never heard you say that.

NALEE 1:24:30

Well, I say it in a different way. But you know, like, just don't lie. Again, don't be a piece of shit. Just don't lie. Thoughts, questions, concerns.

ANTHONY 1:24:39

Gosh, she said a lot of stuff. I'm trying to like Yeah, that was a lot of stuff. It was a lot of stuff.

NALEE 1:24:43

I'm trying to say it as I remember it because I will forget about it.

ANTHONY 1:24:47

So that's why I was just Okay, so you've taught me a lot. I do agree with a lot of the things that you said.

NALEE 1:24:52

Thank you. Well, honestly, it's just being an adult. The stuff that I'm saying is just being an adult.

ANTHONY 1:24:57

Yeah.

NALEE 1:24:57

It's like basically.

ANTHONY 1:24:58

That's really what it boils down to is being That's really what it boils down to is being an adult, handling and having that conversation, that open conversation.

NALEE 1:25:08

Yeah.

ANTHONY 1:25:08

And discussing like what you want.

NALEE 1:25:11

Yeah.

ANTHONY 1:25:11

Whether that's a relationship or not.

NALEE 1:25:14

Go ahead, sorry.

ANTHONY 1:25:15

No, you're fine. No, that was it.

NALEE 1:25:17

Well, I was just gonna say, honestly, people are just scared to have that conversation, but once you have it, it's just it's kind of refreshing. Like, oh, okay, like you feel the same way as I do too, you know?

ANTHONY 1:25:27

Yeah, and it could be a weight lifted if it's something that you've been feeling pressure for, and then you have that conversation, and then it turns out, okay, well, they're not looking for a serious relationship. So now you know that you can move on and they can move on, and you don't have to waste each other's time.

NALEE 1:25:41

Yeah. And that's the thing too. Like for me, again, I am I'm I want to say that I am dating intentionally. There are times where I'm just like, okay, it is what it is, is what it is. You know what I mean? But if you go in like in the dating scene, know what your intentions are. Like, know what you're looking for because if you don't, it's gonna be really hard for you to look what look for what you want. I think that's one of my biggest advice. One of my big advice would be is that is that like go ahead.

ANTHONY 1:26:10

I agree with that to a certain extent.

NALEE 1:26:12

Okay.

ANTHONY 1:26:12

Because sometimes you can go into it with no intentions and you could find something.

NALEE 1:26:18

Yeah, that's the other thing I was gonna say. But you also have to be open-minded for things that that you didn't expect. Because there were there are a lot of encounter encounters that I have where I'm just like, oh, okay. Shocking.

ANTHONY 1:26:31

She like, she goes, Oh, it big.

NALEE 1:26:34

Okay. It is what it is, is what it is. I'm just kidding.

ANTHONY 1:26:42

No, you're not.

NALEE 1:26:42

No, no, I'm just saying that like you just also have to be open to be open to it. You're dating. What what could hurt? What could hurt? Obviously, STDs could hurt, no protections could hurt, but again, that's like common sense. Some of us have it, some of us don't, some of us half and half. Some of us if the mood what I don't watch what you say, watch what you say is all I'm gonna say.

ANTHONY 1:27:08

I was just gonna say, sometimes the mood just strikes.

NALEE 1:27:11

Like what Justin Chimberlake says, when I set the mood right, or whatever. Have you heard that song? I have not. Is it new? No, it's like an old song. Maybe I'm saying it wrong, but something like that. He sings it like that. But, anyways, I think like when it comes to like confusion, when it comes to dating and stuff, the main thing is just know what you're looking for. Know your value. Like, know that whatever whoever you're dating or whatever people tell you, just know what your worth is. Know what you bring to the table. Don't allow anybody to shrink yourself to fit into their box and be confident. Use cute, use independent, you was single. Go out and have fun. And that's one of the other things too. Have fun. Like, honestly, yes, like the journey. I'm just gonna speak from my like experience, the journey of like, you know, from the divorce to now, like I have I have had like a lot of like roller coaster emotions, but bitch, there's not one time that I can't say that I didn't have fun. Like, but then again, I don't know. I think I'm just a fun person, so maybe it's not like it's not like it doesn't apply to everybody, but try to have fun, like just have fun, honestly. Like, you know what, you may have a shitty date, but you had fun at that shitty date. Like, you know what I mean?

ANTHONY 1:28:26

Like, just well, that's kind of an oxymoron.

NALEE 1:28:29

Yeah, I know, but still, like, let's say if like I don't know, if you had if you were there with a weird person or whatever, but you still like kept to yourself, you were your genuine self, and you were just having fun, then at the end of the day, you had fun on that date, even though it didn't turn out like how you wanted to. You know what I mean? But yeah, like go ahead.

ANTHONY 1:28:49

Go ahead. No, go ahead.

NALEE 1:28:51

Oh, I was just gonna say, have fun, be yourself, try not to catfish too hard, and be open-minded to things that could happen. You might be shocked. Let Jesus, no, no, no, let Jesus take the wheel.

ANTHONY 1:29:04

Let Jesus take the wheel. Yeah. I I agree with you, and it's like we said at the beginning of this segment where it's like dating is practically just a social experiment. So it is. You're gonna have trials and tribulations,

Labels, Boundaries, And Dating Intentionally

ANTHONY 1:29:17

you're gonna find things that work for you, things that don't work for you. It might be hinge, it might be bumble, it might be Tinder. Like two things can be true at the same time, and things may not work.

NALEE 1:29:31

Yeah.

ANTHONY 1:29:31

So just go out there, have fun, be yourself, do what you gotta do, and be safe.

NALEE 1:29:36

Yeah.

ANTHONY 1:29:37

Even if that means changing your name to Stephanie.

NALEE 1:29:39

Period.

ANTHONY 1:29:39

Period.

NALEE 1:29:40

Thank you.

unknown 1:29:40

You're right.

NALEE 1:29:41

At least you agreed with me. But but yeah, I mean, dating's fun for the most part. I feel like because I'm not like attached to anybody yet.

ANTHONY 1:29:53

That's the beautiful thing, is you're not attached to anybody. Exactly.

NALEE 1:29:56

That I was gonna say, yeah. Go ahead.

ANTHONY 1:29:59

No, that was it. You're not attached to anybody. You can have fun, but be smart about it. That's all I'm saying.

NALEE 1:30:04

Yeah, don't don't put yourself in situations that you can't dig yourself back out of.

ANTHONY 1:30:08

Follow your gut instinct on things as well.

NALEE 1:30:12

Yeah, yeah. Have fun, guys. Like, yeah. It's that thing of like people, and it's also that thing of like you're like you're saying that you've you've been dating for like, I don't know, two, three years, but you haven't even gone outside yet. So how are you dating people? It's that thing of like, don't be like, I think dating is a little scary for a lot of people because you're scared of being hurt. Obviously, you need to like you feel like maybe you need to work on yourself, but at the same time, what can it hurt? Like, if they like you, they do, if they don't, they don't. So what? At the end of the day, everybody's gonna like anything. Yeah, right. Except For me, but still. I'm just kidding. But you always get a good meal out of it. That's all I'm gonna say. Is that like have fun, eat, experiment, snatch? Honestly, you learn a lot about yourself. You learn about what you like, what you don't like, things you like to do, things you don't like to do, activities, and stuff like that. You know, like it's I think something new. Right. And I think dating is more for yourself than it is for anybody because you're learning what you can tolerate, what you like, things you don't like, and your type. You know, that's something I feel like a lot of people don't know what their type is, even though they're in the dating scene because they just kind of date everybody. Like whoever is hot, then they date them. But you kind of learn like where you're like, oh, I like this guy, or you know, I like that that he's tall or you know, whatever. I like that he got money, you know. Like you learn your type. So that's that's it. At the end of the day, and be safe. When you go on dates, make sure that one or two people have your location at least so that you know they know that you're safe.

ANTHONY 1:31:50

Who share your location with?

NALEE 1:31:51

My sisters, yeah, and Khalia, I think. Because I had her location from New York already. So I just kind of left it as that. But and she goes on dates too, so I also yeah, but yeah, just just be safe, have fun, be smart. And you know, like, I don't know, wear your heart on your sleeves, but not all the way. You know what I mean? Like, be vigilant, like you gotta play, be smart, yeah, protect yourself. Like, I'm not saying play the game, but low-key play the game too. You know what I mean? Like, you never know, you never know, you know? So I don't know. I find dating fun. It is what it is.

ANTHONY 1:32:27

I think that's the whole purpose of dating is to have fun. And if something comes from it, I feel like it it's you've created like a foundation for the relationship.

NALEE 1:32:37

Yeah. Oh, and one other thing I was gonna say was go in it with no expectations, zero expectations. Because when you start expecting things from people or you start expecting them to act like you or act a certain way, that's when you start disappointing yourself. That's when you like get anxious of like, oh, why isn't this person doing this? Why isn't this person doing that? And also when you're in the dating scene, if it's your first time, then again, just go with an open mind. But if it's if you've dated before, or this is your, you know, you're you're coming out of a relationship and going back into the dating scene, don't compare who you were with with people you're talking now. Like, I think that's when people do themselves a big disservice, is that like they find somebody who's similar to the type, and then they're all of a sudden like, oh, well, my old person was like this, maybe this person's like that too. Or my old person used to be like this, and they're, you know, like maybe they're like that too. Yes, recognize patterns, but also allow people to prove to you who they are and who they're not. Because you've never been with this person, you've never met this person, you're just trying to get to know them. Don't expect them to be a certain way. You know what I mean? If that made sense. But yeah.

ANTHONY 1:33:46

Yeah.

NALEE 1:33:47

Well, were you gonna say something? Why are you smirking over there?

ANTHONY 1:33:50

Well, I'm just I'm just thinking of everything that you've said in the last.

NALEE 1:33:53

Damn, this has been like dating 101 for me. Hope y'all learned a thing or two so far.

ANTHONY 1:34:00

I feel like it's Nolly's class on dating.

NALEE 1:34:02

Have you learned anything? Has it been fun? Did I give you any good information so far?

ANTHONY 1:34:06

But yes, no, you've given good information. Oh my goodness. You've given some bad information too, but like what?

NALEE 1:34:15

Excuse me?

ANTHONY 1:34:16

Tell people your name is Stephanie.

NALEE 1:34:18

Do what you gotta do to protect yourself, girl. That is like me wearing a condom for my name, for myself. If you lucky, then I'll pop it. If you ain't, be so. I'm always gonna be condom.

ANTHONY 1:34:30

I want to see you like in an oversized condom.

NALEE 1:34:33

Yeah, literally. Imagine me in a condom right now.

ANTHONY 1:34:35

I kind of am, actually. Pinch the tip.

NALEE 1:34:41

I'll pop it myself. I have nails. I'll just and be like, Hi world, welcome. My name is not actually Stephanie, it's Nali. You know. Anyways, do you have anything else to add before we move on to our next segment?

ANTHONY 1:34:55

I do not. No, I think you covered that very well.

NALEE 1:34:59

Well, nice.

ANTHONY 1:35:00

Yes, good for you. So we should should we move on to our last segment here?

NALEE 1:35:04

Yes, please. Please, let's do so.

ANTHONY 1:35:06

The question is, and be honest, should we just give up?

NALEE 1:35:11

Well, uh, let's discuss our third segment, which is is there hope?

ANTHONY 1:35:16

Should we give up? Like I said.

NALEE 1:35:17

I saw this thing the other day. Quote And I saved it on my phone so we could talk about it. Oh god. Let me look it up real quick. Here we go. No, it's a good thing. In my opinion, I don't think that we should give up. Because, yeah, like I get it, feelings get involved, people get hurt, it is what it is. But at the same time, like even if it doesn't work out, my thing is I want to be able to leave somebody that I've talked to that I touched in general. Well, not touched in general, but like I'm that like emotionally. No, uh no no no no no no, haven't done that yet. No. Whatever. But what I'm saying is, like, of the people that I've talked to, or just any relationship in general, I think this could apply to everybody. Is that like I hope to leave, I hope to leave whoever you are that I've, you know, I've uh I should say it like what I wrote down here because I probably was gonna say it wrong.

ANTHONY 1:36:20

I was like, I thought you had a quote. What are you saying right now?

NALEE 1:36:24

I didn't know sorry. I'm stroking out. I hope to leave everyone I meet better than I found them. So whether that's, you know, a love interest or a friendship or, you know, just anybody that I've I've met, even if it's just like for a short time, even if it's just like, I don't know, situationship or whatever. I do hope that I love them better than I found them, you know? And I think when it comes to love in general, everybody wants to be loved. Everybody wants to have their piece of cake, you know what I mean? But I think the love that you have, or the, you know, like the amount of time that you give people, maybe, maybe there's a reason to that. Maybe they needed that love, maybe they needed that time, maybe they needed that experience so they could learn from that, you know?

ANTHONY 1:37:06

Everything happens for a reason.

NALEE 1:37:08

Exactly. And so then I definitely think that, yeah, I think that we should not give up. Unless you're in a toxic situation, then yeah.

ANTHONY 1:37:18

Well, that's kind of a given, right? If you're in a toxic situation, you gotta yank up.

NALEE 1:37:23

Yeah, I think I think there is hope. I don't think we should give up. Again, I love love. Being in love is like one of the best feelings ever. Falling in love is also one of the best feelings ever. And falling out of love is it's a curse, but you know, it is it's an experience you have to have to know how to love better.

ANTHONY 1:37:43

I'm gonna disagree with you. I feel like falling out of love isn't a curse. I feel like it's more of a blessing if you're used the right way because you have the opportunity to rediscover yourself.

NALEE 1:37:53

I guess I shouldn't say it as a curse. It's not. Let me rephrase that. It's not a curse. It is a blessing. Yes, you're right. You're right. But yeah, I mean, anything involving love, I think, is amazing because just being able to feel that capacity of an emotion is just it's what makes us human, you know? So yeah. Don't give up, y'all.

ANTHONY 1:38:16

So what did you want to talk about for this weekend?

NALEE 1:38:21

Um, well, I want to save mine for last. I'm gonna talk about being single,

Hope, Therapy, And Redefining Love

NALEE 1:38:25

but I want to talk about what you wanted to talk about.

ANTHONY 1:38:28

Okay. So the first thing that I wanted to talk about was therapy and dating.

NALEE 1:38:33

Okay.

ANTHONY 1:38:34

And I think no matter I'm a believer that no matter what stage of dating that you're in, because I feel like therapy gets a bad rap.

NALEE 1:38:42

Yeah.

ANTHONY 1:38:43

And especially when it comes to relationships, because they're always like couples counseling. That's the famous term, right? Couples therapy, couples counseling.

NALEE 1:38:51

But like, ooh, you guys are in couples counseling. Yeah, bitch, we are. We want to make this work.

ANTHONY 1:38:55

It's not a bad thing to be in couples counseling.

NALEE 1:38:59

It's not at all.

ANTHONY 1:39:00

And I just want to encourage more people to do it, just because what damage is it? The only damage that couples therapy is gonna do to you or and your relationship is it's gonna drain your bank account because therapy is so fucking expensive.

NALEE 1:39:15

It is expensive for no fucking reason. I just have one thing to add to that is that when couples are in therapy, honestly, that's like if you really look at it, it's two people really trying to fight to be with each other. They want to solve their issue. Yeah. So that's it's actually really beautiful if you think about it on the flip side. Is that like, hey, I know we're having issues, but I I want to stay and I want to fight. I want to work. You're trying.

ANTHONY 1:39:39

You're putting forth effort because it's so easy to just be like, no, I don't want I'm done. Yep.

NALEE 1:39:45

Exactly.

ANTHONY 1:39:46

That's and that's really truly is like the coward's way out.

NALEE 1:39:49

It really is. Yeah. So if you guys are in if you and your, you know, your spouse, your partner, your loved one is in therapy, like don't ever let anybody shame you for that. You guys are just fighting for your relationship. You guys are trying to stay together. And you know what? Sometimes people don't get along and they can't, they get boxed into their situation. They can't see outside of the box. And sometimes therapy does that for them, you know? So don't ever let it shame you, even if it's not for, you know, like couples' therapy, like Anthony and I always say, like, mental health is very important, regardless of if you're single or in a relationship. Therapy in general should be should be seen in a better way. Obviously, sometimes it's not, but still, it's there, you know?

ANTHONY 1:40:32

I I think we're turning a corner where I think it's becoming more accepted. Accepted, I think is the right word. Yeah. But as far as excuse me. As far as couples therapy or counseling goes, I yeah, I'm a firm believer in it. Do what you gotta do. Fight for, especially for those couples that have been in like long-term relationships, you fight for what you've built. So you've built this life together already. Why are you not gonna fight for it? Why I get that it's easier to just do says, I'm out. Yeah. But when you've been together five years, 10 years, 15 years, like fight for that family that you've built. Whether and when I say family, I don't necessarily mean you have to have kids or anything. Yeah. But like at that point, you're obviously you're living together.

NALEE 1:41:25

Like, do you actually love that person enough to be like, hey, I'm gonna put down my eagle and we'll let's do this together, kind of a thing. You know what I mean?

ANTHONY 1:41:32

Mm-hmm. So short and sweet, that was the first thing that I wanted to talk about. The second thing that I wanted to talk about, and I don't remember where I really wanted to go with this, so I'm just gonna wing it. Okay. But like redefining love.

NALEE 1:41:46

Okay.

ANTHONY 1:41:47

Because I think that we do live in a society, you know, we talked about hookup culture before. We talked about people just throw around the word love. In my opinion, people are saying I love you after, you know, two weeks or a month. I think we should I I think the meaning of love can be redefined to fit a specific situation ship. Ah, yeah. Now I remember where I was going with this. I remember where I was going with this. Okay. I was watching a comedian. His name is Joe Dombrowski. Highly recommend him if you have not seen him. He started popping up in my TikTok algorithm, and at first I was like, Have you sent any of his to mine to me? I don't think so.

NALEE 1:42:31

Okay.

ANTHONY 1:42:32

I'll send you one.

NALEE 1:42:33

I mean, I still have the ones that are pending in my inbox that I need to watch. But maybe he's one of them often. Yeah, you should you should send it to me.

ANTHONY 1:42:42

Yeah, I'll send one to you. But so I was watching a video of his on YouTube. I made the transition from TikTok to YouTube because apparently he he's that good. Uh huh. He does a lot of crowd work. But he did one where he was talking to a couple and it turned out that they were in a thruple.

NALEE 1:43:02

Oh, okay.

ANTHONY 1:43:05

And the couple, the the first it was three men.

NALEE 1:43:10

Okay.

ANTHONY 1:43:11

The first two guys had kids and they were together first, and then they brought in the third. Okay. And then it got me thinking, because he was like, You wanna do that? Yeah, yeah. No. No, it got me thinking because he made the joke, he was like, so the kids are your guys', so did they bring you in? Are you the babysitter?

NALEE 1:43:32

Oh my god, that's it. Which was really funny. Yes.

ANTHONY 1:43:35

But it got me thinking, I'm like, we are kind of living in a day and age where we're allowed to redefine love.

NALEE 1:43:41

Yeah.

ANTHONY 1:43:42

As a thousand percent. You know, there's the very conservative people who are love is between love and marriage is between a man and a woman.

NALEE 1:43:55

Yeah.

ANTHONY 1:43:56

But that's not the case anymore. We're we're kind of what's the word that I used before? We're we're all evolving. And I think the word love is evolving, and so that we're redefining it to be what works for us. Yeah. So whether that be, you know, three people who are in a thruple, whether that be two couples that are in some sort of relationship that works for them, but that's just it. Who am I to judge what they're doing in their personal life?

unknown 1:44:36

Yeah.

ANTHONY 1:44:37

Like, who are you to judge what they're doing in their personal life? I mean, for crying out loud, we have that fucking guy out in Utah who had like 17 wives.

NALEE 1:44:45

Like nobody's saying anything about him.

ANTHONY 1:44:49

I mean, people are saying things about him, but who I mean, take the children out of the picture, because that's where I will have a lot to say. Yeah. Um, you shouldn't be marrying or lying with a child in any way, shape, or form.

NALEE 1:45:05

Um let alone your own. But yeah.

ANTHONY 1:45:08

But redefine love for what works for you. And I think that that's as a society, that that's something that we could we should ponder about and think about more. Because it doesn't necess love isn't one of those things that's uh just black and white anymore.

NALEE 1:45:22

Okay.

ANTHONY 1:45:22

We've evolved into that fucking gray area. There. I said that gray area.

NALEE 1:45:27

It's the gray area.

ANTHONY 1:45:30

I kind of blathered on there, but you kind of get where I was going with that. It was honestly, now I remember this redefining love stemmed from that thruple that was on that at that comedy show.

NALEE 1:45:40

Y'all already know why Anthony brought it up because he's looking into it.

ANTHONY 1:45:43

I'm looking, I'm looking for a third. If anybody is interested, please slide into our DMs and then you can slide into something else.

NALEE 1:45:52

Stupid. No, I love that. Okay. One thing I just wanted to add is redefining love also does not have to be with a partner, baby. It could be with yourself. Like right now, I'm redefining my own love. Like, honestly, starting to, it sounds really fucking corny, but falling in love with myself again. Like learning who I was before and loving myself for who I am. And, you know, obviously, it's not just about the physical, but for me right now it is. Like, you know, that and that's just a phase I'm going through. Is that like, you know, I'm trying to like myself for how I look and how I feel and what I do and just love myself for the weird things that I have and the weird things that I do. Like I talk to myself and stuff like that. But again, like that's just what who that's just what makes me who I am. And just you just have to love yourself. And, you know, again, you could redefine love with your loved one, with a thruple, a quadruple, whatever it's called. Find you a self-find yourself a little unicorn if you have to, or yourself. Like love yourself. Did you have anything else to add into the into this topic?

ANTHONY 1:46:59

Um, no, that was it for me.

NALEE 1:47:01

Okay. Well, I'm just gonna segue into what I was gonna talk about, which was being single. Like, it feels great. It feels great being single. Like, no, I don't have any strings attached. I'm an adult, which is actually like the fundamental part of dating for me is that I'm an adult. I could do whatever the fuck I want.

ANTHONY 1:47:19

When you want to do it.

NALEE 1:47:20

When I want to do it, how I want to do it, who I want to do it with, and nobody's gonna get in my way. And that's the great part about dating, is that you make your own calls and you can say no to anybody, you could say yes to anybody. Nobody has to know anything about what you're doing, and everybody can know what you're doing, depending on if you're willing to open up about it. You know, like that's the fun part about it is you are literally developing your character arc in your own way. You're defining yourself, and I don't know, like I think being single, yes, it is kind of lonely because, you know, for me, I'm speaking from my own experience. I've come from come out of a long-term relationship. I'm used to somebody being there. I'm used to having somebody to lean on, you know, emotionally, well, lean on physically, physically, yeah. I mean, sometimes emotionally too, financially, you know, and mentally sometimes too, you know. But then, like, yes, you do miss the companionship, but then again, like dating allows you to do that again with somebody else. Somebody who maybe will be more compatible with you, or, you know, help discover who you are, things you like. Again, like dating doesn't have to be a disaster. You have to, you know, just I don't know, just set your own boundaries too, which is also one of the things that I was gonna talk about too. And I'm just gonna kind of briefly go over that because I've already talked about it before, but really set your own boundaries, like what you tolerate, what you won't tolerate, what your icks are, and you know, what you're willing to talk and you know, build upon. And I think when it comes to dating, have fun, yes, of course, you know, but at the same time too, like on a serious note, like really define what your alignments are with somebody else if you are wanting to get back into like, I don't know, a serious relationship or whatever. Like for me, I'm gonna be honest, yes, I get it. Like I just got out of a long relationship and you know, people are saying, oh, stay single, like, you know, have fun, blah, blah, blah. I am doing all of that. But at the same time, I'm not gonna be close-minded to something if let's just say if we were, if I'm dating and then I end up finding somebody who things are aligned with me, you know, where I decide to, okay, you know what? Why would I why would I want?

ANTHONY 1:49:34

Why would you not?

NALEE 1:49:35

Yeah, but but that's what I'm saying is that like just because, you know, like maybe people's timelines are different and they're like, oh, it's too soon or it's too fast or whatever, like if it's what you're feeling and if it's feeling right for you and you feel like, oh, you know, you're ready to give it another chance, do it. But if you're like, oh yeah, you know what, maybe I'm not I'm not there yet, or you know, it's moving on too fast, pace yourself. Like you're not in a rush, you know, like just know what you're getting yourself into and again be mindful of what what your morals are, what your alignments are. And again, if you find that, then do something with it, you know, say something. But again, you know, being single, I think it's a a bad rep too for like single girls who goes out and

Being Single Without Apologizing

NALEE 1:50:21

I'm not saying sleep around or whatever, but having fun. Like having fun doesn't excuse me, doesn't mean having sex all the time. Like when you go out to the bars or going to the club or having a girl's night out, like so what if you're 35 and you're having a girl's night out? So what? I'm still I'm still an adult. I like drinking, I like dancing. So what? If people judge you, yeah. If people judge you, I think they're just jealous because you're having fun and they're not. So have fun. Being single isn't that bad. And you know, when you love yourself and when you make yourself the priority, none of that shit matters. You want to find somebody who builds, like, I'm gonna try to find a better way to say this. You wanna find somebody if you're looking for love, which I think is the goal of dating, is finding somebody you could love with, build a life with. And that's also me too. Like, yes, I've been out, I just got out well, it's been it's been about a year, but I got out of a long-term relationship, yes. A year, huh? But it's about a year, July. It's coming up to July. But, anyways. What? Anyways, I'm just saying that regardless of if you came out of a six-month relationship or a 10-month 10-year relationship or whatever, like if you feel like it's right for you, then do it. Like, don't let anybody's opinion or anybody's idea of what dating should be define your own timeline, you know?

ANTHONY 1:51:42

So Yeah, it's it's your definition. It's once you're single, it's like Nolly said earlier, it's what you want to do on your terms, on your timeline. Like, and what do we always say? If they're not feeding you, financing you, or fucking you, move the fuck along. Their opinions don't matter.

NALEE 1:52:01

Exactly. Yeah, so all in all, the three F's is all we need to worry about when it comes to being single. They ain't feeding you, they ain't fucking you, ain't financing you. They can move along. So period. Period.

ANTHONY 1:52:14

I had something that I wanted to say on the being single, but I can't remember it now.

NALEE 1:52:18

Sorry. I feel like I've been blabbing on this whole episode. I apologize if you guys are tired of hearing my voice. I know you guys all like Anthony's voice better than mine, so it's okay.

ANTHONY 1:52:26

No, I think they like your voice better. No. But this this episode is more up your alley.

NALEE 1:52:31

Yeah, unfortunately. Fortunately.

ANTHONY 1:52:34

I was like, it's not unfortunately. I think it was a good opportunity. I think it's one of those things where it's almost like therapeutic, especially for you, since you're actually like living. This so it's yeah to verbalize some of these things.

NALEE 1:52:48

I think yeah, this has been a fun episode for me, honestly. Like I've I've said a lot of shit that I shouldn't have said, admitted to a lot of things that I shouldn't have admitted to, but it is what it is, is what it is.

ANTHONY 1:52:58

It's okay. We're gonna just I'm gonna change that so it says Stephanie, step in chaos coordinator, yeah, yeah. Fill in. Now, what do they call it in in theater? The understudy. You're the understudy. Understudy.

NALEE 1:53:11

Yeah, yeah, understudy.

unknown 1:53:12

Yeah.

NALEE 1:53:13

But yeah, I mean, you know, I just say don't give up hope. Dating is fun, love is amazing. Had it, felt it, you're gonna have it again. You know, I think shouldn't you shouldn't give up on love.

ANTHONY 1:53:28

So I remember what I was gonna say about being single. So I th I feel like being single gets a really bad rap. Does and everything that you're saying is like really good advice as far as like going out there, having fun, doing things on your own timeline. Dating can be what you want it to be on your terms because it's your life. And I'm just gonna say this short and sweet. Fuck the people who who make you feel bad for being single.

NALEE 1:53:59

Period. Exactly.

ANTHONY 1:54:01

Fuck all them people.

NALEE 1:54:03

They're just jealous. They're jealous because you're having fun and they're not.

ANTHONY 1:54:06

They want you to join the the miserableness of being in a relationship.

NALEE 1:54:11

No, I'm just I mean, I'm not gonna lie, I think it's being in a relationship is honestly like I love being in a relationship. I think you get to share intimate moments with your the person you love, and you know, hopefully it's for the rest of your life. But at the same time, being single is fun too. It's fun as shit.

ANTHONY 1:54:28

Listen, like being single and being in a relationship both have good sides, both have bad sides. Nothing is gonna be perfect.

NALEE 1:54:35

Yeah. Just have fun while you're doing it. That's it.

ANTHONY 1:54:39

Make that little difference.

NALEE 1:54:40

Pun intended, pun not intended, you know, do what you gotta do. We're only here for we're here for a short time, not a long time, okay? So have fun. Yeah. No, I feel you. Yeah. Anything else that you want to add? That's all I got to say.

ANTHONY 1:54:56

All right.

NALEE 1:54:57

Why do I sound so like why do I talk like that? Anyways, yeah.

ANTHONY 1:55:00

I'm a professional. Cause you hood. Because you used to live in El Dorado Boulevard.

NALEE 1:55:05

Stupid. I do sound so hood, don't I? But I'm not. I'm like I'm senior and a little bit of hood, so it's fine.

ANTHONY 1:55:12

All right. I'm gonna write us off into the sunset here.

NALEE 1:55:15

All right, sounds good. Let's do it, boo.

ANTHONY 1:55:17

What did we learn today?

NALEE 1:55:18

This says dating is confusing, but I want to say that dating is fun.

ANTHONY 1:55:22

Dating is confusing, dating is fun, dating is spontaneous, dating is everything. Communication is rare.

NALEE 1:55:30

And everyone needs therapy.

ANTHONY 1:55:32

If you're in love, congratulations. Especially you, little diabetes.

NALEE 1:55:39

Period. And if you're single like me, congrats, hoes.

ANTHONY 1:55:44

And if you're in a situation ship.

NALEE 1:55:46

Good luck.

ANTHONY 1:55:47

Good. Good. Say it like that.

NALEE 1:55:50

There it is. Thank you.

ANTHONY 1:55:52

Thank you.

NALEE 1:55:54

Yeah. Okay.

ANTHONY 1:55:55

All right, everybody. Thanks for listening to Twin Tangents.

NALEE 1:55:59

And we'll see you next time with more opinions nobody asked for, because this whole last episode was all my opinions.

ANTHONY 1:56:08

All your opinions.

NALEE 1:56:09

Yeah, and Anthony's too, but still.

ANTHONY 1:56:11

A little bit sprinkled in.

NALEE 1:56:12

And a hill I will die on before we end here is that it's okay to use an alias for your dating name. Just make sure you give them a time frame of when you tell them your actual name.

ANTHONY 1:56:22

Listeners, viewers, I want your two cents in the comments.

NALEE 1:56:25

Discretion is advised.

ANTHONY 1:56:26

Discretion is advised. Please don't forget to like, comment, subscribe, share, do all of the things to help twin tangents.

NALEE 1:56:36

Yeah, we're growing. And like I said before we end, we've mentioned this a couple times, but we are going to be opening up for guests. So if you guys want to come on, if you guys know people who would be good as guests, send them our way. Our email is the officialtwintangents at gmail.com. Hit us up on our socials, Facebook, and Instagram, TikTok. What am I missing? Am I missing anything?

ANTHONY 1:57:00

Instagram, TikTok. Those are our main two.

NALEE 1:57:02

Oh, we have Twitter too and YouTube. Nobody uses Twitter.

ANTHONY 1:57:05

Get off Twitter if you're on Twitter.

NALEE 1:57:06

I don't know. But still, yeah, let us know how we're doing too. That too. And yeah, that's it.

ANTHONY 1:57:13

That's it.

NALEE 1:57:13

Have fun. Okay. Three, two, one. Bye.